Ram Talk

Feb 272006

Concerned about fish dying a slow frozen death? Sick of walking in goose poop? Nervous about crazy ravenous squirrels? Tired of being a poor ramen-eating student? Well, so am I! It's time to hunt in the urban forest! Anyone who's taken a wildlife class knows the detriments of animal populations that have lost their apex predator – you should become that predator! Happy Hunting!

To Suite on Wednesday nights: Men might stop acting like jerks… if it didn't work. As a nice guy going many years without a date, and being laughed at by trying to be polite, I tried an experiment. I found that more women were attracted to me when I just pretended to be a jerk than when I was really a nice guy. Maybe we need to find better ways to communicate.

Does anyone else SERIOUSLY hate the I.M.P.? If you look up imp in the dictionary it means small demon. Couldn't have said it better myself.

To the guy who constantly interrupts in my class: You may think you are impressing the class with your detailed and totally irrelevant factoids, but frankly you are being RUDE and collectively adding an entire five minutes to each class, which I would much rather spend listening to the actual lecture or doodling in peace.

My ex-boyfriend outran those spiffy bike cops on a cruiser (ya, only one gear). Maybe they need to take spinning classes or something.

Ever since I've been a freshman, that employment ad for bartending has been in the classifieds day after day. When will they hire someone? I guess their applicants must be someone with a Ph.D. in rocket science.

To the cowboy that used to drive a white FORD and wears a black hat. Where have you been all my life? They just don't make men like you anymore.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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