Feb 082006
Authors: Dominic Graziano

Like many college students, I am strapped for cash. Writing for the student newspaper is prestigious, I admit, but sadly it doesn't pay the bills. To keep my bank account out of the red, I have followed suit of many of my peers; I got a part-time job.

I chose not the path of the apathetic mall salesperson, nor the lonely path of the telemarketer. My part-time job of choice has a somewhat higher calling. I am a delivery boy for a sub shop, a sub shop we shall call "Goldmine."

Usually my shift at the Goldmine runs from 5:30 p.m. to 3 a.m. It is the latter half of that shift that I think of as the most joyous time of the day. It is between 10 p.m. and 3 a.m. in which I get to deal with the most interesting customers.

Make sure if you are going to order food during late hours to inform your roommates. You never know, they might want some food too. One run I was met at the door by a man wielding a 9-iron. It seems his roommate forgot to tell him a stranger would be ringing the doorbell so late at night.

He, being the safe type of roommate, figured I was going to steal his porch rug and decided to arm himself with the most reasonable thing he could find – a golf club.

Sometimes I'm not lucky enough to get threatened with blunt objects. Sometimes I get met at the door with good old-fashioned nudity. It's odd, you'd think if someone was going to order food they would at least put on some pants.

Another night at around 2 a.m., I was on a run to a neighborhood not unlike your own. I knocked on the door and was greeted with a big smile; such is par for the course when you deliver food to the inebriated at such late hours.

I read my new friend his total and the grin went away as he thumbed through his wallet. It seems my friend did not have enough funds to cover his late night munchies.

At this point any "normal" person would apologize and send me on my way. But no, not my new friend; he simply asked me to wait as he "got more money." He then walked past me across the street and up to another house, rang the doorbell about 20 times and started yelling. Needless to say I got the money, he got his food and his neighbor got a very rude wake-up call.

Most nights aren't fun-filled, but sometimes I do get to deal with crazy people. Whether they are naked, pissed off or just plan drunk, these are the people that make my job more interesting.

Dominic Graziano is a sophomore open-option seeking journalism major. He can be reached at entertainment@collegian.com.

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