Big Momma’s House 2

Jan 292006
Authors: Ryan Skeels

Never before have I heard so many comments on the number of adult beverages it would take someone to consume before being dragged into the movies I saw this past weekend. This got me to thinking, as I have a couple times before – what is stopping at least one theatre in town from serving alcoholic beverages during the movies? It seems like a logical idea to me. I know I would probably open my wallet a little more than I do. It would at least ease the pain I had to deal with last Friday trying to keep "Big Momma's House 2" from sparking nightmarish flashbacks of "The Pacifier" when I went to bed that night.

Martin Lawrence has certainly made some critical career errors in his day, with "Black Night" and "National Security" putting permanent smudges on his career. We probably shouldn't even mention the first "Big Momma's House." Unfortunately, Lawrence didn't take Paul Giamotti's advice and stay as far away from a follow up project as possible and returns just as large and in charge as Malcom Turner, the FBI agent willing to do anything it takes to nab the criminals.

After his last bout with the bad guys, Turner promised his pregnant wife he'd trade in his pistol for an eagle costume and work public relations for the precinct. After his first partner gets killed in some shady business involving a high-ranking military official, Tom Fuller, Turner's cop gets flipped and he'll stop at nothing to get to the bottom of it. Even if that nothing is going behind his wife's back, putting on a huge woman costume and playing nanny to a bunch of troublemakers, all while trying to bust the bad dude.

It seems to me the most reasonable approach to making a sequel to a terrible movie would be to brainstorm some situational humor that has never been done before. Unfortunately for most, or at least for the few who unfortunately stumble into "Big Momma's House 2," this is far from the case and doesn't seem to have even happened on accident. Sorry to spoil the laughter for you, but director John Whitesell even tried to pull off a movie-long oversized underwear joke. To all you struggling screenwriters out there, STOP MAKING BIG UNDERWEAR JOKES, it lost its humor after "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."

I did actually find myself laughing momentarily on two different occasions. One involved the youngest child of the family climbing up onto the tallest thing in the room and jumping directing onto his face. The other was when Turner fed the miniature Chihuahua-looking dog tequila to keep it from sinking into depression. After laughing for a few minutes though, I became intensely angry, realizing not only how I am jealous of the dog for getting drunk while I sat in boredom, but also because there wasn't anything in the room tall enough for me to jump off onto my face. Save your money and save your time; this one is in the top five worst movies ever made.

0 out of 5 ramheads

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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