Stop right now seniors. Don't do it. Put your pencils down, throw your books in the trash and spend finals week building a snow cave and little snowmen to live with.
Whatever you do, don't take your finals and graduate. Why would you do that? Do you know what's out there? Lions and tigers and corporations that will deny your applications because you "don't have enough experience."
This is why I have decided to never leave. I am going to stay in college until I reach the age of dead. You want to retire my Chem. 101 book? You will have to pry it from my cold, lifeless fingers.
You see, college truly is the best of both worlds. You take your parents love (and money if you're lucky) from the high school world and you combine it with the freedom and independence of the working-stiff world. There is no better combination.
Tell me one opportunity you're going to have after graduation to party it up 'til 3 a.m., be in class by 11 a.m., lie on the couch watching a "Southpark" rerun by 3 p.m. and at various points in all of that, you get to see thousands of single members of the opposite sex. Not to mention all the Ramen Noodles you can eat.
I'm going to be honest here and admit that I'm scared of this real world they speak of. I get a little taste of it every first of the month when my rent payment comes, and I don't like what I've seen so far. I've heard they make you get married, become a parent, pay bills and forbid playing beer pong. Quite frankly I don't want to be a part of something that doesn't force you to play beer pong once a week.
That's not the only thing that scares me though. Wasn't I just a kid on the swings in the playground yesterday? My little brother is 13 years old; you remember that age? The age where you switched boyfriends/girlfriends every hour instead of every year. The age where all you had to worry about was detention or the lunch lady eating you. When I graduate from college, that's it – I'm not a kid at all anymore. That scares the Legos out of me.
I know you seniors are excited to embark on a new journey. The potential of a career that will make you more money in a year than you've had in the last four and a house with a white picket fence – I can see why you're anxious to get out. But I think we all have a tendency to sometimes focus on what makes college stressful instead of what makes it fun.
Are you really ready to leave the football games, the house parties, the roommates…the mornings you wake up and don't know where you are…for a nine to five?
I'll meet you at the ice cave.
Brett Okamoto is a sophomore technical journalism major. He is the Collegian's sports editor.