Ram Talk

Nov 172005

To the guy in the library on 11/14, we will call you "The Fart Master." You are awesome. Thanks for some great laughs all night long! Oh, and for almost killing my friend Stacey (Suffocation).

To the sexist pig who posted the "Why don't women ski" joke yesterday – try saying that to a woman's face and just see if you get slapped. Perpetuating lies like that will get you nowhere, son.

CSU Track and Field sprinters and jumpers are, for sure, the best athletes in the entire university. Plus, we love to hunt and rock out.

To the person who asked why women don't ski, and then answered with, "There's no snow between the laundry room and the kitchen" – I'd like you to thank your mother for carrying you for nine months, laboring with pain, fixing you food in that kitchen, washing your clothes in that laundry room and nurturing you. I am overjoyed that all her work blessed us with your presence. Thanks mom!

To the two guys who were doing crunches next to me in the Rec Center on Monday – did you seriously have to moan that loud? I could've sworn you two were having orgasms! Let's keep the sex noises down to a minimum when working out, please.

To the hot blonde in the Durward Penthouse, what is your penthouse number?

To the poor isolated southpaw: I wish I could further isolate you for whining.

Bike lane on right side of road. Diesel truck exhaust on right side of road. Coincidence? Unfortunately.

I would like to thank everyone involved in the construction by the Lory Student Center. Girls, yes girls, now walk past my classes in the engineering building!

Holy cow, my graduation from CSU is in a month, it's finally happening after more than 5 years. To all the students out there, stay in as long as possible, cause I'm going to miss CSU. I want to give a shout out to all people of the CSU car club, and the two firefighters that go to CSU that I used to go to training with every Tuesday night.

To the gurl who called football players jurks: I apologise on behaf of my teem member. Sometims we are reely dum. He is still lerning how to be humun. I wuld never hav dun that to a pritty gurl like yurself. We cant all be nise and like gentelmen.

If you wanna talk about DNA, I'm right there with you. But if you ask me about post modernism I'll ask, "What the hell was modernism?"

All right, so I'm OK with the people who ace the O-Chem tests and ruin the curve for everybody. But if in 20 years they haven't found a cure for cancer…I'm gonna be pissed.

To the girl with the sex panther shirt: That is hot!

    Love, the guy that sits next to you in Human Sexuality.

To the squirrel that's been eating our pumpkins: Yes, we do have your tail.

Does anybody else keep getting lost in the Engineering Building?

Eleventy isn't even a real number! Not yet…

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