Oct 272005
Authors: Jake Blumberg

10. Their own video game, because nothing is cooler than going to Blockbuster and seeing a little kid renting you.

9. A king sized signing bonus, wrapped in incentive laden packaging

8. A get out of jail free card for those individuals who get caught egging their coach's house.

7. A mansion, Mercedes, yacht and vacation house; wait, they don't need to go looking for that.

6. Apples

5. An endorsement deal with Nike, American Express or Buick; that's why they dressed up like Tiger Woods.

4. A championship, because as good as M&M's are, there is nothing sweeter then victory.

3. An invitation to be on ABC's Dancing with the Stars; perfecting a celebration dance is a key to endorsement deals down the line.

2. A buy one get one free coupon to the jeweler, because bling bling is always better in bulk.

1. Performance Enhancing "Arthritis Cream", a Barry Bond's favorite.

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