Bad Monkey, No!

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Sep 292005

I stepped out of class last Thursday and noticed that the circus saw fit to bless us with their presence. There were hundreds of spectators glued to the show, quite a few monkeys yelling at one another, and I swear I even saw a few incarnations of Dumbo. Inevitably at the center of all the asphyxiating madness was the ringleader.

For those of you who missed out on this circus last Thursday and Friday, there was a street preacher here on the Plaza by the name of Matt Bourgault. Using his best shouting skills, some inflammatory banners, and even his little kids at one point, he feverishly told people about how they were going to hell if they didn't repent. He not-so-tactfully told crowds that God was angry, they would be judged for what they were doing and then would promptly be sent to hell.

One man stepped up on the rock Mr. Bourgault was standing on and asked the crowd who felt the love of Jesus shining down on them. Needless to say, not a soul raised their hand. It was at that point Mr. Bourgault, the ringleader, told the crowds he wasn't there to spread the love of Jesus. Really? He went on to say he was trying to scare people into converting; he wanted them to fear God. It was classic, ill-advised "Hellfire and Damnation" preaching.

First of all as a Christian, I was upset with and embarrassed by the ringleader. Every religion, faith, or belief, has their nutcases and fundamentalists. We can look to Osama Bin Laden, David Koresh, Richard Dawkins, and Lamb Chop as prime examples. We can also look to Matt Bourgault, who did everything in his power last week to turn people away from the message of Christ. To set the record straight, Christ did preach about repentance from sin and how the wages of sin is death and eternal separation from him in hell. That's putting it quite bluntly. However, he didn't go about all of this by trying to scare people and make them angry. He did so with love, compassion, and wisdom. The goal for Christians should be to tell Christ's message the way he did, with love, not hate.

Secondly, as a spectator and student I was deeply embarrassed by the monkeys, clowns, and the like that surrounded the ringleader. One such monkey, who described himself as a bisexual, felt that grabbing the ringleader's posterior would add weight to his arguments. I'm not sure if it worked but it was terribly revealing of that particular monkey's ethos. Another participant, who eerily resembled Dumbo, obviously felt inspired to contribute to the discussion by calling the ringleader names that are not fit to print. There were also a variety of clowns who felt, in the spirit of debate, that it would be best to shout at the man and threaten him with physical violence. I must say I was very impressed by the skills my future alumni have developed for intelligent discussion. These people couldn't match the wits of a potato.

It never occurred to these people to just smile and walk on by, or perhaps politely engage in a discussion with the man on why you disagree with his ideas and/or methods of conveying said ideas. There are others who are like Mr. Bourgault though. Perhaps you've seen them with their banners in our plazas before walking back and forth. Perhaps you've seen others camped outside our football games with signs saying, "God hates fags."

Wherever you've seen them, you have not seen the spirit of Christ. These misguided and confused souls seek to pass judgment on those around them and for some reason have the bright idea that people need to be scared into repentance.

The likes of Mr. Bourgault, regardless of their message, are not welcome on this campus yet they do have the right to speak freely. That said, if their message is inflammatory or hateful, do not lower yourselves to their level, CSU. All the monkeys, clowns, and even Dumbo himself should be ashamed by the way they were participating in the ringleader's circus. The more I think about these events, the less they resemble a circus and the more they come to embody a sideshow. Shame on you Mr. Bourgault, and shame on all the mindless participants who took place in your sideshow.

Tyler Wittman is a senior speech communications major. Information for this column was found at


 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Volunteering: The Easy Way To Ruin Your Weekend

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Sep 292005
Authors: Dominic Graziano

I want to start out by saying I have nothing against helping the community. I think it is ever so noble to take time out of your busy schedule to do some good for the better of mankind. It was for that reason I volunteered Saturday.

The day started at 11 a.m. with Positive Impact. Not a bad time to roll out of bed, especially considering my classes start at 8 a.m.

For those of you out of the loop, Positive Impact is the bane of all tailgaters' existence. Ok, it isn't that bad. Basically Positive Impacters get to walk around the Hughes' parking lot and ask people not to get to out of control.

Quick math: game starts at 4 p.m., tailgating starts at noon'ish; that's four hours of wandering around in the dirt telling inebriated college students to keep the partying to a minimum.

Over the course of those four hours I saw many things: A truck bed full of snow, a naked toddler, an unhealthy abundance of empty beer cans and somewhere around eight million barbeques. And oh yeah, a horse-driven police officer confiscating a beer bong.

The time was nearing 8 p.m. as the last seconds of the game ticked away, which gave me just enough time to make it to Ram Ride by 9.

I have worked RamRide on many occasions. I was there for both the 10,000 ride and 25,000 ride this past weekend.

When I work RamRide, I usually perform the daunting task of navigator. I'm the guy who makes sure the car shows up outside the party so you can get in and get home.


The night started off pretty basic, picking up drunken people and getting them home safe. After the first couple of rides, things started to get a little weird.

At one house on Prospect Road, my driver and I were waiting for some people. When we parked, I noticed people standing around the back gate. As I got closer to them I noticed they were all wearing trash bags. I don't mean like it was raining and they wanted to keep dry, more like they wanted togas but only had trash bags lying around.

Plastic clothing aside, that ride was nothing compared to one of the last rides I gave that night. At another house there was someone passed out on a car out front.

When the caller told me he needed me to take someone to the hospital I responded, "Oh, you mean the guy passed out, out front."

The response: "Uh…there's someone passed out?"

No, I would not be lucky enough to take a passed out college student to Poudre Valley Hospital. Nope, it would absolutely have to be the guy who ran into a door and split open his forehead.

All I can say about that guy is at least he and his friends were in a good mood on the way to the emergency room.

Luckily RamRide ended early, at 4:30 a.m.

For those of you playing at home, tapping away at your calculators, I'll do the math for you: 11 a.m. Saturday to 4:30 a.m. Sunday is roughly 17.5 hours.

Not to make my readers feel like they're doing absolutely nothing with their weekends but what did you do Saturday morning/afternoon/night?


To be honest, I like volunteering. It makes me feel like I might be able to change a little something by making sure drunk people don't hurt themselves too much. If you get the chance to put down the beer and do the same, I recommend it. You might just end up with some pretty rocking stories to tell your friends…when they're sober.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm


 Uncategorized  Comments Off on RAMtalk
Sep 292005

To the handsome young man on the single-speeder: I still love you.

To the hot girl who tried to pull me down in our IM soccer game on Sunday: You are gorgeous. We should go out sometime, just let me know. -The guy in the blue shirt

Ram talk should be longer, like last year. It's the best part of the paper.

Your mom is Stephon Marbury!

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Our View

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Sep 292005
Authors: Collegian Editorial Staff

It's a difficult time for American politics. Wednesday, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay stepped down from his position following an indictment by a Texas grand jury on conspiracy charges. DeLay, along with two of his associates, is accused of funneling corporate funds to Republicans during the state's 2002 elections, thus helping them win control of the Texas House of Representatives.

While DeLay claims he is a victim of "blatant political partisanship," these charges are not and should not be taken lightly. Evidence against DeLay has not been released, but a full, non-partisan investigation into the issue should be underway. It seems as though the battle lines have been drawn, and the fight between Republicans and Democrats has become fiercer than ever.

DeLay's indictment could not come at a worse time for Republicans. President Bush's approval rating has been fluctuating after questions regarding FEMA's response to Hurricane Katrina has left politicians and citizens wondering what went wrong. A decisive shift in the Supreme Court also has turned heads, with the confirmation of Judge John Roberts as Supreme Court Justice in the bag and an open seat still waiting to be filled.

The outcome of DeLay's indictment could raise some serious questions into the validity of the Republican Party. As a leader, DeLay should be representing his political affiliation positively. Even if he is cleared of all charges, this case will hang over his head for the remainder of his political career.

We should all take interest in these issues. These are the politicians who are representing U.S. citizens. This case is not about political affiliation, but about justice. It seems as though we are getting farther away from being able to trust those who represent us, and that's disappointing.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Voter Registration

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Sep 292005
Authors: Matthew Galloway

To register, contact ASCSU's office, the County Clerk and Recorder Office at 200 W. Oak St. or at any Colorado Driver's License Office.

To vote by absentee ballot, print an application form at: and mail to the Larimer County Elections Office, PO Box 1547, Fort Collins, CO 80522 by Oct. 21.

A written request may be sent, but must include name, residence address, date of birth, instructions on where to send the ballot and a signature.

An early voting center will be on campus in Room 114C of the LSC from Oct. 17 to 28 from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Students hoping to register are urged to bring a photo ID with a Colorado address and a preprinted voter card.

For more information, including maps and additional sites visit

Voter registration is set to close Oct. 3 for those who would participate in the November election, yet on the Plaza, New Voters Project (NVP) volunteers' trademarked red jackets were nowhere to be seen.

Matt McClintic, their campaign organizer, said this isn't a huge election year and a new Colorado law holds NVP accountable for incorrect information on collected forms.

This year they will "focus on non-partisan education and handing out forms with free stamps."

The Associated Students of CSU, who helped NVP register 3,000 voters last year, decided to work with the new legislation.

Courtney Przybylski, director of Community Affairs and a junior technical journalism major, attended an "intensive" training session at the Secretary of State's office. On her return to CSU she was able to train volunteers for ASCSU's own voter-registration drive.

"My name is on the forms, so I want to make sure everything is correct," Przybylski said. As the only state-trained member, she could be investigated for voter fraud if the state's standards are not met.

ASCSU's voter registration drive began Sept. 16.

Volunteers were on the Plaza Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays and in Morgan Library Tuesdays and Wednesdays pushing students to register to vote.

Volunteers will be in both areas Monday for a last push.

Wednesday, ASCSU worked with the Residence Hall Association to register dorm residents. Pi Sigma Alpha helped as well, registering 50 people in a single day.

"We've registered about 120 people total," Przybylski said. "The New Voters Project signed up most of the eligible voters last year."

This year they need to register people who will be 18 years old by Nov. 1 or who are new Larimer County residents.

Scott Doyle, Larimer County clerk and recorder, said of last year's voting turnout, "Much to my delight, students were voting and seemed fairly knowledgeable about the issues. It's a trend I hope to see continue."

Last year was the first year an early voting center was placed on campus.

"We felt like there was enough population and the university wanted us there," said Jan Kuhnen, chief deputy clerk and recorder and director of elections.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Celebrating the Jewish High Holidays

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Sep 292005
Authors: Amber Baker

Rosh Hashanah services

Oct. 4 and 5 at 9:30 a.m.

The Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St.

Evening services

Oct.3 at 6 p.m.

Oct.4 at 7 p.m.

Chabad Jewish Center of Northern Colorado

Yom Kippur services

Yom Kippur eve, Oct. 12 at 6 p.m.

Oct. 13, at 9:30 a.m.

The Armstrong Hotel, 259 S. College Ave.

Call 407-1713 or 690-1718 for more information.

More than 100 people turned out for the Jewish High Holiday Fair Sunday at the Best Western University Inn without the aid of advertising.

The newly established Chabad Jewish Center of Northern Colorado , sponsored the fair, which boasted many interactive exhibits to display the customs and traditions of the High Holidays.

The exhibits included a shofar factory, displaying how the instrument that is used to signal the start of the Jewish New Year is made; a live demonstration of bees making honey and the significance of honey during the Jewish holidays; kosher wine tasting; a kosher mini feast with recipes for kosher dishes and scores of authentic Jewish items for purchase.

"By all accounts it was a thoroughly enjoyable and educational experience," said Rabbi Yerachmiel Gorelik, the new Rabbi who recently moved here from the East Coast. "And it was a first for almost everyone present to have something of this nature in Northern Colorado."

The fair celebrated the coming of the most important holy days on the Jewish calendar-Rosh Hashanah , the first day of the Jewish new year, and Yom Kippur , the "Day of Atonement." To the Jews, this is the most holy day of the year. It is the day that God grants them atonement for sins.

"Yom Kippur is the 'Day of Awe,'" Gorelik said. "It is the most awesome day of the year. It is the day that we rejoice and give thanks for our atonement, and celebrate the sweetness of a wonderful new year with God."

Some students who attended the fair were glad to see the Jewish community coming together.

"I thought it was absolutely outstanding," said Michael Foxman, a freshman construction management major and the president of the Chabad Jewish Student Alliance. "The Rabbi (Gorelik) was so dynamic, really the most appropriate person for this sort of thing. And there was a really excellent example of Jewish food and wine tasting."

Even non-Jewish students enjoyed the fair.

"I'm not Jewish," said Foxman's friend Devin Yedo, a senior construction management major . "I just went for a good time. I was impressed. The wine and the food were pretty good."

Gorelik and his wife, Devorah Leah, were the prime organizers of the fair. They recently moved to Fort Collins from New York with their 1-year-old daughter, Basya, as emissaries of the Chabad-Lubavitch organization.

Their branch has recently been established in their home near the CSU campus and is one of 3,000 across the globe.

Gorelik, the only orthodox-trained rabbi in Northern Colorado, is an expert on all matters of traditional Judaism. His father was also a rabbi, and he studied Hebrew for a year and a half in Israel. He fluently speaks Yiddish, the national language of Jews, which is becoming obsolete among the younger Jewish generation.

"I've noticed that throughout Northern Colorado there is a widespread level of ignorance about Judaism, and there are a lot of Jews who have no place to learn and grow," Gorelik said. "That is why I'm here – to strengthen Jewish awareness and educate Jews by providing educational, religious and social activities in the spirit of traditional Judaism. But we even though we adapt to our world, we want to keep traditions the same. And I am here to teach those traditions, to keep them alive."

"We're not missionaries," Devorah Leah added. "We're here to teach, not to convert."

"Yes," Gorelik agreed. "We believe everyone has their own religion, and they should stick to it. We welcome everyone to attend our services. But we don't require membership. This is geared for everyone. I want it to be consumer-friendly and fun and enjoyable for everyone."

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

CSU receives largest gift in university’s history

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Sep 292005
Authors: Vimal Patel

Calling it the biggest news in CSU history, college officials announced Thursday that alumnus Edward Warner has donated $30 million to the College of Natural Resources, which has been renamed the Warner College of Natural Resources.

The donation is the largest in CSU history, said CSU President Larry Penley, adding that it may be the largest ever to a natural resources college.

Warner, who graduated in 1968 with a bachelor's degree in geology, said it was his time at CSU that made him focus his life on science.

"I was a young man with very shaky foundations," he said to the estimated 600 students, faculty and community members gathered at west side of the Natural Resources building for the morning unveiling. "What I found at CSU changed my life."

Describing himself as a "classic underachiever," Warner said it was CSU faculty, especially the nine members of the geology department, who opened his eyes to the world of science.

"They taught me what science really meant," he said. "Some of them didn't like my New York personality and proceeded to try to change it, and they succeeded."

It was because of their glowing recommendations that he was accepted to UCLA and Stanford University, and eventually attended UCLA, where he earned a master's in geology.

Warner went on to work for Shell Oil Company and Amoco Production Company, where his research focused on producing natural gas from coal seams. With a $1 million budget, Warner helped to tap a previously unused energy source that led to the discovery of large gas fields in the San Juan, Raton, Piceance, Powder River and Green River basins, according to a press release. These fields contain about five to 10 percent of the country's reserves, he said.

Although financially well off, to say the least, Warner said he was perfectly content without the cash.

"We were broke (yet) we had a wonderful life," he said of his family. "I was doing geology, the work that I love, and that's all that mattered.

"Not that financial success is a bad thing," he added.

Warner also said that science is on the "tipping point" in the movement of cooperative and collaborative conservation, yet warned the government not to overstep its boundaries.

"Government agencies have to learn how to treat land owners with respect…sometimes good intentions lead to bad consequences," he said.

Joyce Berry , dean of the Warner College of Natural Resources, quoted Gifford Pinchot, former USDA Forest Service chief and two-time governor: "A nation deprived of its liberty may win it; a nation divided may reunite; but a nation whose natural resources are destroyed must inevitably pay the penalty of poverty, degradation and decay."

Warner is passionate about supporting the next generation of CSU students, Penley said.

"A gift of this kind…will ensure that our students have the depth of knowledge to deal with global environmental issues," Penley said. "A gift of this magnitude will certainly change CSU."

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Hillel Gears Up for Rosh Hashanah Celebration

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Sep 292005
Authors: Mandy Billings

Hillel, CSU's Jewish student organization, is holding on-campus services and activities next week in observance of the Jewish High Holiday, Rosh Hashanah.

"Rosh Hashanah is the Jewish New Year, but it's celebrated much differently than the American New Year. It's a time for reflection," said Kayla Brummett, president of Hillel and senior English major.

The 10-day period runs from the start of Rosh Hashanah on Oct. 3 through the end of Yom Kippur on Oct. 13 and is the most sacred time of the year for the Jewish community, Brummett said.

"This is a time to look to the past and future to see what you want to do and who you want to be in the coming year," said Hedy Berman, director of Hillel. "This is a time to seek forgiveness for wrongdoings to start the year with a clean slate."

Many of the ceremonies associated with Rosh Hashanah are symbolic of this new beginning, Berman said. In the Tashlich ceremony, breadcrumbs are tossed into a pond or other body of water to symbolize the casting off of the previous year's transgressions. Apples dipped in honey, a common Rosh Hashanah dessert, represent the hope for a sweet year ahead and will be served in all residence halls next week.

Events planned for Rosh Hashanah include a traditional kosher dinner at 5:30 p.m. Monday in the Lory Student Center's Cherokee Park Ballroom, a Tashlich ceremony at 3:30 p.m. Tuesday on the Vietnam Memorial Bridge and prayer services held from 10 a.m. to noon Tuesday and Wednesday in room 203 of the LSC.

While tickets for the Monday night dinner needed to be purchased by last Wednesday, students are encouraged to contact the Hillel office if they have not bought tickets but wish to attend. All other Rosh Hashanah events, including a Monday night service at 7 p.m. in the Cherokee Park Ballroom, are free and open to all students.

"We are totally welcoming of all Jewish students wherever they are in their Jewish identity," Berman said. "Non-Jewish students who want to learn more are also welcome to come."

Interested students can find a full list of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur programming on Hillel's Web site, located at

Hillel provides a significant sense of community for Jewish students during a time they might normally spend with family, Berman said.

"Jewish holidays always have a sense of community about them," Berman said. "For many students, it's their first time away from home for the holidays. I think it's really important for them to be part of a community."

Stephanie Kroll, sophomore biology major from Aurora, appreciates the community Hillel is able to provide.

"It's been a second family for me because I can't always go home," Kroll said. "It's nice to know that you're not alone during this time of holiness."


 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Campus Calendar

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Sep 292005

Today, September 30

Deadline to register for First CSU Hunger Banquet

The first Hunger Banquet will be held Oct. 11 from 5 to 7 p.m. in Parmelee dining hall. The banquet will offer the opportunity to learn more about world hunger and how to make a difference in the fight against poverty. For more information, contact Amanda Vandermeer at

CSU Ram Hockey

7:30 p.m.


The CSU Ram Hockey team goes up against the Northern Colorado Allstars. Tickets are $5 for general admission and $3 for students. For more information, contact Erin Gray at 420-9276.

Mystery Science Theater 3000

7 p.m.

Lory Student Center Senate Chambers

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Teenagers from Outer Space." In this hormone fraught movie, space teens attempt to prepare Earth for their eminent invasion, until one finds love with an Earth girl. Admission is free.

Lagoon Summer Concert Series

The Indulgers

6:30 to 8:30 p.m.


Saturday, October 1

Garden Photography for 35mm and Digital Cameras

4 to 6 p.m.

Gardens on Spring Creek, 2145 S. Centre Ave.

In this multi-session, hands-on course for beginners and beyond, learn about the essential equipment, techniques and concepts to create beautiful and unique photographs of gardens and flowers.

Fee, including photography workbook: $40 member; $45 non-member. For information, contact Gardens on Spring Creek at 416-2486.

Sunday, October 2

"Eracism" Film and Discussion Series

6:30 p.m.

Fort Collins Main Public Library, 201 Peterson St.

A feature film about the efforts of Hispanic maintenance workers in Los Angeles to unionize. Raul Paz-Pastrana, labor union organizer from Denver, will facilitate a short discussion following the film. Admission is free but donations will be accepted. Seating is limited.

Lobo Mess Presentation

2 to 2:45 p.m.

Museum, 200 Mathews St.

The "Camp Collins: Soldiers to Settlers" exhibit comes to life as Rocky Mountain High School students portray Fort Collins soldiers and settlers. From period clothing and equipment, to drill and hardtack, experience first-hand what life was like during the mid-1860s. Contact Kerry Doyle at 416-2705 for more information.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Campus Blotter

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Sep 292005


Theft of a floor buffer from Corbett Hall sometime in the last month

Lost key report

Harassment at the Diversity Conference

Bike theft from Summit Hall in the last couple days of a silver and blue Trek mountain bike. $500.

Theft of monies, a purse was in an office in the Clark Building was left over night.

Bike theft from the west side of Wager Building over the weekend of a yellow and purple Trek mountain bike. $500.

Bike theft from west campus last week of a blue Trek mountain bike. $500.

1564 Bike theft from east of campus last week of black Giant mountain bike. $200.

Motor vehicle accident by Industrial Science – state vehicle backed into a parked car.

Two traffic citations and several warnings.

Accidental damage to a car by the Intramural field – A softball from an IM game broke the windshield.

Reported a careless driver in the Art "Z" lot – gone on arrival.

Contacted a suspect in a hit-and-run from last week.

Walked some buildings and halls.

More than 20 Bicycle Enforcement and Education Program citations and numerous warnings

Checked D-5 and checked Hughes Stadium

 Posted by at 5:00 pm