Ram Talk

Sep 192005

For certain persons who are unfamiliar with the rules, this is how blinker wars work – He who blinks first, gets the parking spot.

So here's the theory: the revolving door in the library is actually a human hamster wheel, yet another sly attempt by CSU to save money and keep the electricity on at the same time.

… And the award for best actor in a Nuggets playoff series goes to Manu Ginobili for his role in "Basketball: Played with arms flailing and body on the ground." A documentary on how to flop.

To the guy with the nice motorcycle: the girl on the back was pretty cute. Sorry to break it to you but she is only with you because of the bike. Oh yeah by the way she was totally checking me out in my Subaru station wagon when you were stopped at the light.

To the guy in the Subaru: Thanks for breaking up my marriage. -Girl on the Bike

To all the people complaining about Kerry/Edwards stickers: Today my roommate saw a sticker on someone's car that said, "Impeach Clinton now!" Talk about living in the past!

Wouldn't it be fun if, all at once, everybody just forgot everything they knew.

To the boy I hit with my car last week; I am so sorry. I swear I've almost never done that before.

Fact: self-tanner makes its users look like Oompah Loompahs. My conclusion: don't use self-tanner. Conclusion of CSU women at large: self-tanner is da bomb! I am so confused.

I'm getting tired of all these reality TV shows. Whatever happened to the good old shows like Captain Planet…"Captain Planet, he's a hero, gonna take pollution down to zero…the power is YOURS!"

Until I find a bumper sticker that says, "Bush can bite me," I guess my Kerry/Edwards one will have to do.

I like talking to the people who pass out fliers on the Plaza. They make me feel like I have friends.

Hump day … now there's false advertising for you.

Dear Ryan Chapman. I play Frisbee golf. I love Cheeba Hut. I work out at the rec every day. I have a 3.7 GPA in the business school. I smoke marijuana. I voted for Bush. You disappoint me. Sincerely, a Republican who can look past stereotypes.

So, they didn't elect me as the new pope. Well, better luck next year … wait.

My neighbor has been keeping a box of things to remind her of her boyfriend. I think it's safe to say they are no longer together because that box was burning as a car ran over it on Prospect. Sadly, the poor teddy bear took the brunt of her anger.

To the person wondering what the smell is outside Clark C, remember that Clark C is right next to the Eddy Building – home to philosophy and speech communication majors. That smell is the decay of hope they once had for a successful career. Signed, a graduating philosophy major.

The Oval is just a roundabout on steroids.

I think everyone wants to leave a mark on CSU before they leave … unfortunately for me it was in the form of a vomit stain in front of the stairs on the second floor of Clark C. I hope you find a better way.

Studying for an exam and a teacher who gives a 40-page study guide: 10 hours. Paying for a class you don't care about: $500. Watching your teacher have to cancel a test because he didn't make enough tests: Priceless.

*RamTalk is No. 1 on my speed dial, and will remain so until I can meet a girl.

Disease: idontknowthefadisover. Symptoms: Ugg boots, popped collars, trucker hats, J-lo glasses.

That Facebook thing … it should really be called stalker.com.

To the primates that edit the newspaper: If you want to start spouting off opinions about the separation between church and state, I suggest you start with the all mighty dollar, "In God We Trust," instead of trying to find yet another reason to bash the president.

Uh oh, my Live Strong bracelet just broke. How will I prove to people that don't know me that I am selfless and trendy?

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