What Are They Thinking?

Sep 062005
Authors: Ryan Chapman

In an attempt to avoid the wrath of all those readers of this newspaper who can't take a joke, I will be diverging today from my traditional analysis of American politics. This week will be the beginning of what may become a regular feature in my column called, What Are They Thinking?

This week's topic is the town of Wellingborough in the United Kingdom where, according to the U.K.'s Daily Mail, a school has instituted a new rule allowing students to swear at their teachers.

You heard that right folks, students can now swear at their teachers. The Daily Mail reported that the headmaster of the school, Richard White, said the policy was tailored toward two troublesome classes of 15 and 16-year-olds. White was also quoted as saying that "within each lesson the teacher will initially tolerate (although not condone) the use of the f-word (or derivatives) five times and these will be tallied on the board so all students can see the running score."

White later explained that after five f-bombs the class will be "spoken to by the teacher." Well at least they have a strict punishment for violators of the new rule. Now don't get me wrong, I use the f-word on occasion, but at teachers and 15-year-olds? This all just seems a little bizarre to me.

As it turns out this new policy seems bizarre to more conservative members of the British parliament as well. One was quoted as saying that the policy was based on "Alice in Wonderland reasoning" and complained that you don't improve something by allowing it.

Now I know what most of you are thinking and no I don't think CSU will have a rule like this anytime soon, no matter how awful your finance professor is. It might however, become a great way for CSU football fans to cope with their frustration this season; especially after another humiliating loss to CU. Maybe we could start a petition for ASCSU.

The Daily Mail also reported however, that "praise postcards" would be sent to the parents of children who did not swear and who showed up on time for class. Now there is a great idea for CSU, little notes home to tell parents how great their kids are. This could even become an efficient means for picking potential honor society students: the ones with the most "praise postcards" get invited first.

Whatever your take is on the issue, this is the official proof that sometimes the truth can be stranger than fiction. Look forward to more 'What Are They Thinking' topics in the future.

Ryan Chapman is a senior marketing major. His column runs every Wednesday in the Collegian.

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