Transporter 2 crashes

Sep 052005
Authors: Ryan Skeels

The original plan for the weekend was to see both how ridiculous of a job Hollywood could do at a movie version of a short story and to witness another masterpiece by those who gave us "City of God."

For reasons now very unclear to me, I managed to nix the later and found myself sitting in a nearly empty showing of "Transporter 2." It's hard to justify this decision in any way after the fact; for sanity purposes however I have to keep telling myself it was for both a logical and worthwhile reason.

Having never had the pleasure of sitting through the first "Transporter," and with only seeing the previews for the second a couple times, it was hard to imagine how much of a surprise I was in for.

Jason Statham returns once again as the kung fu fighting, fast car driving, perpetually serious-faced escort, Frank Martin. Not only does it appear he's picked up a few more neat tricks since the his first appearance, but he's got a pretty sweet bullet proof Audi to go along with them.

He's Claude Van Damme and Jackie Chan with a literally nonstop thirst for action. If the cheesiest of action and never-ending fight scenes are your bag, then this may be the flick for you. If emotion, character development, plot and realistic events are more of what you're looking for, definitely make an alternate decision for your movie of choice. I've heard "The Constant Gardener" is a good one.

As much as cheesy action isn't really my thing, there were some pretty darn entertaining scenes. It's so jam-packed with the "Bad Boys"-esque cinematography and music that it's hard to not get into the action to some extent.

Now that the good qualities have been pointed out, it must be stated here and now that this movie contains the single most, outrageously absurd scene to ever be conjured up and shown on the big screen. "XXX" can step aside right now, put his tail between his legs and hide under the table because a new beast has been born. Let's just say it involves the Transporter, his car, a ramp, a bomb, a crane and a hook.

There's really no other way of putting it. For an 88 minute long movie, plan on sitting back in your seat for about 10 of that – maybe. There's more action than you can shake a stick at.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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