Four’s a Crowd

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Jun 212005
 
Authors: Kate Dzintars

Sharing a house with enough roommates to make the bills affordable may no longer be a possibility.

Fort Collins City Council decided June 14 that some form of an occupancy limit is here to stay.

The current "three-unrelated" ordinance limits occupancy to no more than three unrelated adults, and has been on the books since 1964. A City Council study found that 1,070 households are in violation of the largely un-enforced law.

Some CSU students feel the law unfairly targets college students, because they are most likely to live with roommates rather than family members.

"I think the three-unrelated law is ridiculous because it makes college kids feel like they are not a part of Fort Collins," said Brandon Bianco, a senior speech communications major.

Other students believe the problem really lies in a lack of renters' responsibility.

"It's not the number of people living in a house that matters, it's the people," said Sabrina Sanderson, a senior technical journalism major. "There are five people living in my house and we have never had a problem. What if four adults wanted to live together? I mean, how do you define a family?"

Part of the problem with the ordinance is defining family or relatedness. Another question is how the law would apply to blended families or homosexual couples who have children.

Fort Collins residents cite excessive noise, crowded parking and unkempt properties as reasons to keep and enforce the law.

Council members are still debating several ordinance options.

One option is to enforce the existing ordinance citywide. Other choices are to create a permit process to allow up to four unrelated adults to live together in certain houses or neighborhoods

Some students support the zoning option.

"In other parts of Fort Collins, like down on Harmony, sure," Bianco said, "but to try and enforce in on like, Whitcomb, that's not going to work. It's a college town. Who lives with their families?"

Currently, violating occupancy limits is a criminal offense. All three options that the council has discussed would change occupancy violation to a civil offense. Civil offenses do not require as much evidence to prosecute, so they are easier to enforce.

Council members scheduled another work session to discuss possible ordinances for Aug. 23.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Juneteenth Day

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Jun 212005
 
Authors: Brian Park

Basking in the summer sun Saturday, June 18, around 300 people gathered to celebrate Juneteenth Day, the oldest known holiday commemorating the ending of slavery in the United States.

The all day celebration featured live music, food, sports, guest speakers and numerous other activities to satisfy everyone who attended. People and children of all ages enjoyed the festivities starting in the morning and continued until the evening at Rolland Moore Park, in Fort Collins.

"I think it went extremely well," said Tehron Jones-Embry, co-coordinator of the event. "This is the second time we have done this and we have doubled our attendance from last year, it was really great to get the community at large to come out."

The holiday of Juneteenth, or the "19th of June," acknowledges June 19, 1865, in Galveston, Texas as the day that slavery officially ended in the United States. On this day Union General Gordon Granger announced freedom to all the slaves in Texas and the Southwest and that slavery was now outlawed.

During the Civil War President Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation on Jan. 1, 1963, which stated all existing slaves should be set free. In Texas though the proclamation did not have much impact due to such a low presence of Union soldiers. Two and a half years later with General Granger's arrival, the General Order Number Three was read to the people and freedom was pronounced. Celebration and immense happiness followed as the oldest known black holiday was created.

This year was the 140th anniversary of Juneteenth Day.

"This event was an educational piece," said Bruce Douglas, the other co-coordinator of Juneteenth Day. "We want people to be aware of the event and the significance of it, it is American history, not just African-American history."

Douglas is a graduate student at CSU working on his Ph.D. at Colorado State University and is President of the newly formed Black Graduate Student and Professional Association.

"This was an inclusive event, not just an exclusive event for African-Americans," Douglas said.

Since the city of Fort Collins has a relatively small black population Douglas said it is important for people to come out and to become educated about this particular day.

A live jazz band played on a decorative stage for the crowd, providing one of the more popular acts of the day. Guest speakers told stories to the attentive audience, who enjoyed hearing about black culture and heritage.

"This was my first time attending" said Shayla Reed, a 26-year-old Fort Collins resident. "It is a great opportunity for the city of Fort Collins to become aware of the African-Americans that live in Fort Collins."

Reed said her favorite parts of the day was the food and entertainment, and that the jazz band, the fellowship and story time were fantastic as well.

"It is important for me to support my own history," Reed said. "It is important for other people because it's an opportunity for other people to learn and understand why we celebrate Juneteenth."

As the day moved on, adults, college students and teenagers played volleyball and basketball, children ran about under the sun, some adults held conversations in the shade and the smell of tasty food wavered about in the air. Laughter and the giggles of children could be heard as everyone took pleasure in the holiday festivities. Even a tent was set up to take people's blood pressure and look for diabetes.

"It seemed like everybody was having fun," Jones-Embry said. "People of different colors and different ages were celebrating, I liked just seeing all different kinds of people interacting together."

In the future Douglas would like to see the event continue to grow and for more people in Fort Collins and more organizations at CSU to become involved.

"It is a significant day that not a lot of people know about, so it was good to see people come out and celebrate," Jones-Embry said.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

College Experience Varies for Black Students

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Jun 212005
 
Authors: Jake Blumberg

On a campus of more than 29,000 students, it is easy for many to blend into the canvas of Colorado State University-unless the individual is the one color on the painting unlike the rest.

According to CSU's Office of Budgets and Institutional Analysis web site, www.colostate.edu/Depts/OBIA/, blacks make up 2 percent of the undergraduates at CSU, compared to the 83 percent majority population – Caucasian.

Among the 385 black students currently enrolled at CSU, there are many varied viewpoints related to the experience of being such a distinct minority.

Will Wooten and Charlie Jones-two black freshmen with little in common beyond their skin color-have each lived a year as the color unlike all others at CSU. Between the two, they comprise a wide range of opinions and experiences, providing two different pictures of what it is like to be black on a predominantly white campus.

Both Jones and Wooten have been involved in the makeup of CSU since the beginning of the school year. Jones began his life at CSU weeks before the rest of the student body, leaving his home in Katy, Texas, on a scholarship for basketball; Wooten, who hails from Colorado Springs, Colo., became involved in campus life early as the president of Black Definition, a student organization.

Each realized very quickly they were on a predominantly white campus.

"I looked around at my first basketball game, and I just was like, 'Wow. There are a bunch of white people here,' and not many of us," Jones said.

Walking through campus on the first few days of school drew Wooten to a similar realization.

"I walked to class, then to the student center, then back to class," Wooten said. "I noticed pretty quickly, there are a lot of white people, and very few black people."

Academically, Jones spends his time pursuing a sociology degree and Wooten is working toward a business degree. Their different experiences in the classroom begin to tell their respective stories of what it means to be black at CSU.

"In most of my classes, I am either the only black person, or one of two," Jones said. "It's not something that really affects me, though. Sure, I am the only black person, but I have never felt isolated because of it, or singled out because of it."

Wooten, also, has walked into classes as one of the only black students. In the majority of his classes, Wooten is in fact the sole representative of the black community, and he is reminded of that fact frequently.

"I feel like I have to be the face of the African-American community," Wooten said. "I am looked at to answer almost every question having to do with being African-American. When we discussed slavery in my history class, I had to answer a ton of questions, just because of my skin color."

The attitudes both have encountered inside and outside of the classroom also paint unique pictures of the black experience at CSU.

Jones has felt singled out during his first year as a Ram, not necessarily because of his skin color, but because of the clothing he often wears to class.

"I really have felt a lot more isolated as an athlete then I have as a African-American man," said Jones, who plans to transfer to a junior college next year to pursue his basketball career in a new location. "Really, my being an athlete has caused me to be profiled more, and focused on more, than the color of my skin has."

The issue of athletics has played a role in both Jones' and Wooten's experiences at CSU.

"People always assume I must be an athlete," Wooten said. "It's always, 'Do you play football or basketball?' The idea that I could simply be a student who is black seems to elude most people."

The stereotype Wooten has experienced is a common one, said Jason Smith, a white member of the CSU basketball team.

"I think it would be tough to be black and not be an athlete here at CSU, at any school," said Smith, who has spent the majority of his freshmen year training and living with black teammates. "It seems like every black person has to be an athlete stereotypically, and if they aren't, they still will be treated like they are one by a lot of students. I think that would have to be tough to feel like people are judging you on something you aren't."

Beyond dealing with stereotypes, Wooten and Jones have had different experiences dealing with the emotions associated with being a minority.

"It can be really, really lonely at times," said Wooten, who went to a high school with a fairly high black to Caucasian ratio. "It is a real culture shock, especially if you are from a region where there are more black people. If you are from a place like that, the adjustment can be a very tough one."

Loneliness has not been an emotion Jones has felt throughout his year of school.

"I certainly haven't felt like I don't have friends, or that the ones I do have look at me like as a black guy first, and a nice guy second," Jones said. "In my (residence) hall, we have all gotten really close and we even joke about race – both ways. If you just take people for who they are, not the color of their skin, then it will be a lot easier to feel like you fit in."

Some contend a change in viewpoint will not alter the fact that race, and racism, are issues at CSU. Black Student Services director Jennifer Molock feels race is a factor no matter how much people try to look past it, and in some cases, deny it.

"I do not believe that racism does not exist anywhere. I believe that there are issues of racism in our campus community," said Molock in an e-mail interview. "Race is always an issue even when people prefer that it not be."

Racism has also divided the experiences of Wooten and Jones over the past year. Jones has not experienced any instance of racism at CSU. Wooten, on the other hand, felt the effects of racism as recently as last week.

"I was walking through the halls in Summit (Hall), and I looked on a whiteboard, and it had the N-word written on it," Wooten said. "It was the first time all year I actually saw something racist, but I think it exists throughout the campus. The incidents may not appear in the paper, but I know people who have felt discriminated against and profiled because they are a minority."

Although Wooten feels there is an undercurrent of racism, he was quick to point out it is not a dominant characteristic of CSU.

"Racism really is everywhere, at every school," Wooten said. "CSU is a lot better than most, and leaps and bounds above some schools in the Deep South. I certainly don't walk around feeling scared or anything. "

Jones seconded Wooten's feelings on the presence of racism at CSU.

"Is there some racism? I am sure there is, there is everywhere," Jones said. "The state, and CSU, just aren't huge hotbeds for it is all. I don't think the majority of students, or Colorado citizens, are racist. I certainly haven't felt like it during my time here."

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Campus Blotter

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Jun 212005
 
Authors:

6/20

Nights – 2 on

Opened door for grad student at Eddy.

Assisted CDC guards with report of someone throwing things at the construction site. Loveland PD K9 assisted with search but found nothing. On arrival, workers report that some beams fell from their settings – cause unknown and no injury or damage.

Checked a LOT of buildings, south and foothills campus. Lots of folks out and around, but no problems.

Call of suspicious person at Bayfarm Rd. in south campus – was a professor working with bees.

Days – 2.3 on

Elevator rescue at Animal Sciences – custodian got stuck in side for short time. Repair crew contacted.

Call of car fire at Pitkin Z lot was actually jumper cables that shorted – no other damage or injury.

FTO training still underway and checked all the usual items/issues. Pretty quiet.

6/19 Nights – 2 on

929 DUI arrest on Elizabeth

1 TEEP and 1 county traffic cite.

Several TEEP warnings, checked all halls, FTO training of new folks continues.

Checked south and foothills campus – all OK

Days – 2 on

926 Student found his stolen bike at Clark C wing.. He had no proof of owner ship regarding serial number so we secured the bike to the rack until he (or the person using it) can prove ownership.

927 Bike theft at Student Health – older blue Schwinn 10 speed taken between 1:00 and 10:00 AM.

Did some weapon check ins, checked all campuses and several buildings. All OK.

Wrote three municipal traffic cites. Handled some parking issues on the Oval during a wedding there.

6/18 Nights – 2 on

925 Two cited for underage liquor at 402 W. Laurel

Unknown person from same address put a can of spray texture in the roadway and a patrol car hit it and spraying the car. Washed off readily so no permanent damage done. Greek Life following up.

Several intoxicated persons from a conference had an argument near Lake and Meridian. Broken up without a problem.

Couple having an argument at Washington and Laurel were actually making up. Asked to keep the friendly noise down.

Noise call at IHouse basketball court – several persons warned.

Checked south and foothills campuses – all OK.

Days – 3 on

Assisted FCPS with car v. ped accident at Shields and Plum.

Opened classroom at Clark for GRE exams.

Did alarms reviews and checked outlying campuses, buildings, etc.

Very quiet shift.

6/17 Nights – 2 on

923 DUI at College and Prospect.

Assisted FCPS with DUI accident at Shields and Elizabeth.

Welfare check of intoxicated person at Laurel and Mason – NDC

Assisted FCPS with robbery at Laurel and College.

Noise call at Laurel and Washington – three warned.

Lots of BEEP and TEEP warnings given. Checked south and foothills – all OK.

Gave ride home to a juvenile who couldn't get hold of parents.

Days – 2 on

921 Graffiti at Central Receiving truck at their east load dock overnight.

922 Cache of women's undergarments found near the transient camp south of the old Total Station. No suspects or leads to crime known.

Male with breathing problems at Corbett Hall went to PVH by EMS

911 hang up call at Transit Center – no one around on arrival.

2 TEEP cites.

Call to check a door at Palmer Center – officer found it secure.

6/16 Nights – 2 on

920 DUI arrest at Meridian and Lake.

Conferee who drove their car onto the basketball courts near IM field to light them up after hours was warned about driving on roads, not play areas.

Noise calls re kids at UV basketball courts about 2 hours apart. The kids had left the area when officers arrived both times.

Noise call at Laurel and Washington – GOA.

Call of loud bangs near CDC. FPS officer was in the area and checked CDC while our folks checked the rest of foothills campus. Nothing suspicious found by either of us.

Opened door for staff at AZ.

Gave a ride to a Preview conferee who was lost. Several BEEP and TEEP warnings, checked south and foothills campuses – all OK.

Days – 3 on

918 Green and black GT mountain bike stolen from E wing Engineering

Four juveniles warned re loitering near soft drink machine in Aylesworth Hall.

Transient camp behind the Total Station is active again. No one there when officers checked, but we'll be keeping an eye on it.

2 TEEP and 1 BEEP cite, several warnings.

Abandoned bike on Bayfarm Road was impounded.

Assisted EHS with AED maintenance.

Pretty quiet shift.

6/15Nights – 2 on

917 Short chase of speeding vehicle from Pitkin to W. Elizabeth resulted in driver going to jail for hit and run, DWAI, reckless and eluding.

Call of person crawling on sidewalk along Shields. Was doing penance for church.

INA at NCGRP – found perimeter secure – RP notified.

Call of people not leaving the IM fields when Thorguard sounded. They moved when officers arrived.

Several TEEP warnings, checked buildings, lots, etc.

Days – 3.5 on

916 Theft of Preview banner from entry of Braiden Hall

INA at Eddy rooms 2 and 4 – Preview staff set it off.

INA at LSC art gallery – cause unknown.

Assisted with UV safety fair – kids and officers all had fun!

Call of possible assault at football game on 6/14. Mother decided it was just rough football – no crime.

1 TEEP cite. Field Training Officers were busy with new officer trainees.

Checked all the usual issues – all OK.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

CSU Summer camps push athletes to excel

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Jun 142005
 
Authors: PHOTO ESSAY BY RYAN MAIER COLLEGIAN

Check out the Photo Essay Slide Show!

BY JON PILSNER

During the summer months, you'd think the coaches of CSU athletic departments would get a break, not having to worry about any collegiate athletic games to prepare for. Nothing however, could be further from the truth.

Inviting athletes from across the nation, the CSU athletic department puts on a variety of athletic camps and clinics during the summer months, including; football, men's and women's basketball, swimming, cross country/distance running, softball, and volleyball. Hundreds of young athletes, normally ages 8-18, will come for coaching on technique, mental preparation, and other valuable skills to their specific sport.

This past week, the CSU swimming camp wrapped up. Camper were treated to the latest stroke technique information, video analysis of their strokes, starts and turns, as well as information on nutrition and race strategy. Each day, the campers were coached in one dry land session and one session in the water to further enhance their swimming skills.

Some of the most popular camps at CSU are the Sonny Lubick Football Camps. The Rams offer 4 different football camps over the summer of 2005. Those camps include:

– An individual camp for participants in the third-10th grades focusing on fundaments of the game

– A team passing camp, where high school teams from across the country in a 7-on-7 format will work on passing. The week begins with a round-robin format and concludes with the Ram Bowl Tournament

– A lineman camp, specially designed for high school defensive and offensive linemen. It includes work in pads a 1-on-1 competition, video evaluation and strength and speed training

– A junior/senior football camp geared toward players entering the 11th or 12th grade. This padded camp includes coaching from CSU football coaches, collegiate football style practice sessions and specific technique instruction by position.

Check out the Photo Essay Slide Show!

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Letter to Editor

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Jun 142005
 
Authors:

Once again (as in 1999), the Intelligent Design and Creationist movements are trying to weaken the teaching of evolution theory in Kansas' biology classes, and inject what amounts to religious doctrine (see the Kansas Citizens For Science website, kcfs.org, for more information on the hearings and proposed changes to the science teaching standards). Those of us trained in the life sciences must vigorously denounce this effort to let religious faith influence the teaching of solid, evidence-based science.

There's a simple principle that can govern what we should teach our children: teach what we can demonstrate to be true, i.e. science. Teach physics, teach chemistry, teach comparative religion (of course!: it's demonstrably true that people believe in different religions). And yes, teach evolution theory. Despite the word "theory" in its name, it is overwhelmingly the best evidence-based explanation for life's history on this planet. If you disagree, you should make sure you really know enough about evolution theory to make that judgment; there are many excellent resources on the web, including the National Center for Science Education site (ncse.org), the Panda's Thumb discussion site (pandasthumb.org), and the Talk.Origins archive (talkorigins.org).

We are all free to believe what we want. But Biblical literalists want to deceive our children about the state of our scientific understanding of life on Earth because evolution theory doesn't jive with their beliefs. In my mind, this is just cynical and unethical.

Joe Fass

Former CSU post-doc

Biochemistry & Molecular Biology

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Our View

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Jun 142005
 
Authors: Collegian Editorial Staff

The announcement by Colorado State President Larry Penley that beer sales would resume at Hughes Stadium can be met with both relief and reluctance. The decision by Penley to concur with the findings of the alcohol task force proves that the administration is not above correcting its own knee-jerk reactions when an obvious mistake was made. However, the timing of the announcement as well as the effectiveness of new initiatives creates new questions.

For a variety of reasons, the abrupt discontinuance of beer sales within the stadium last year culminated in the opposite of the intended results. Anyone attending the games or paying attention to the police blotters could see the upswing in intoxication levels of fans, particularly those within the under-21 demographic. It quickly became apparent that the beer ban was not addressing the problems associated with excessive alcohol consumption and in many ways compounded the issue. The President should be given kudos for recognizing this and rectifying the situation.

It is still to be determined whether the brazen alcohol abuse and reckless behavior that became so prevalent in the wake of the ban can be reversed or not. Many students and fans no doubt discovered certain advantages in providing and smuggling their own spirits into the stadium. Stemming these practices will be the new challenge surrounding Penley's initiatives. Alluding to this, the President announced the creation and implementation of several new strategies. These include a social-norming campaign, student education forums and new rules and regulations regarding tailgating. In theory these ideas make sense, however, most remain simply ideas as of yet. The viability as well as the effectiveness of these initiatives will only be known come fall.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Editor’s Note

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Jun 142005
 
Authors:

As part of a constant effort to improve the content and appeal of The Rocky Mountain Collegian, the paper has been redesigned throughout. The staff of the collegian highly values the input and opinion of its readers within both the CSU and Fort Collins community. For this reason we are encouraging feedback in regards to the layout, design and content of the paper. Please feel free to call us at 491-1688, send us an email at csunews@lamar.colostate.edu, or come into our offices, located in the basement of the student center, and let us know what you think.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

There is no greater trend than hegemony

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Jun 142005
 
Authors: Jennae Mendoza

A lifetime of roles has been handed to us. From the time we were given a name, a baby-jumpsuit and toys, we were directed to a tapered trail of character-abiding services in preparation of society's customs. Everything from our facial appearances to our belonging in random institutions has been vigilantly constructed, eras before our arrival. We have been handed tools of labor and leisure to mark ourselves in society's homogeneous walls. The divisions of what we talk of, adorn ourselves in and consume were erected from the beginning-and can be glimpsed at through the mere entertainment of magazines.

Whether reclining at the beach or our living room couch, reading material is always desired. Most of us aren't too likely to race for our text books or Steven Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" either. But between the pages of the many gender-specific, billion-circulated magazines, lies a world of hegemonic practices that is often evaded in a mask of simple diversion.

A quick flip through the glossy pages of Cosmopolitan or Glamour leads to a load of prancing anorexic figures and man-pleasing advice. The ads are embellished in fantasy-like backgrounds, with women running through the grass with their mouths open as if yelling, "I'm having such a great time!" or gazing upwards with an inspirational look and a speck of some makeup in the background-the sole contribution of this eternal glow.

A maze of words spring at you: "Brush before bed, don't overindulge your do", "How to snag more compliments", "Spark a steamy embrace", and "Summer Looks guys will go gaga for". "Getaway Beauty", outlines a stack of unnecessary items from hair-gel to cover-up which women should pack along to make their trip "lighter" and much more relaxed. Celebrities are epitomized and elite articles of clothes are desired. While the thin frames and oval faces progress idealistic beauty, the prestigious setting (all of the handbags and clothes most of us can't afford) mark the evident magnitude of the American dream.

From the ads to articles, it is obvious the postmodern female is one who appears confident, beautiful, rich and educated. A reader without one may be misguided–one cannot be sexually powered if she is uneducated, she'd be promiscuous. One cannot be beautiful without the consumption of products or give the appearance of confidence if she cannot afford these products or lifestyles, which will lead to increased attention from men.

Although our society has come far in condensing habitual gender policies, with the liberation of a woman's sexual freedom and political involvement, sometimes the most customary messages are secreted in an artifact of pure-leisure intent. Every page turned, a woman learns how to please and improve her appearance for others, which will direct her to improvement of her life chances.

When leafing through a men's magazine, it is easy to notice their satisfying rituals are a bit different. Stories don't focus on them being victimized or exhibit checklists of items to slather on to appear suitable. For them, it is all about pleasing themselves. A lingerie-poised woman seduces the cover with a string of other stripped females decorating the pages.

Humorous articles paved with humorous beer ads convey a much more carefree lifestyle. Successful business men like Donald Trump and random NFL stars may reinforce the patriarchy and force behind a man's roles, and the woman remain naked copies of ornament to please men. There are much more movie reviews, comical stars, and articles on the latest powerful car than attention to tools of acceptance to fit in and win approval in society. The spotlight is on their hobbies, careers and flashy bachelor lifestyle than a world revolved around pleasing others.

The comical ads from sports to business in men's magazines underline them as society's aggressors where the makeup, perfume and clothing ads in women's magazines portray them as sex objects. Although the media's cultivation effect isn't as hyped up as it may appear, what we devour from magazines is ensued in music videos, commercials, movies and TV shows. Although the release of institutional attitudes have assisted ages of cradle-grave assembled roles, in this consumer-driven nation we may still bypass the blatancy of hegemonic philosophy wrapped up in a common pleasurable product.

Jennae Mendoza is a junior journalism major. Her column will be running weekly all summer.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

Porn stars, politicians not that different

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Jun 142005
 
Authors: David Swindle Daily News Ball State U.

(U-WIRE) MUNCIE, Ind. – More answers to that ever-challenging spiritual question — "What would Jesus do?" — can now be added to the list: Star in XXX porn films, run for governor of California, nurture further political ambitions and attend a $2,500-a-plate GOP dinner at which President George W. Bush will speak.

According to The Washington Post, porn star, Christian and former gubernatorial challenger Mary Carey will be in attendance at Tuesday's "President's Dinner and Salute to Freedom,"along with her boss, porn producer Mark Kulkis, a self-described "Schwarzenegger Republican."

In an interview with World Net Daily, a conservative news site, Carey said she thinks it will be an honor to meet Bush and hopes he'll have some political pointers for her.

She also has her eye on one of the true studs of the Bush administration. According to AVN, a publication of the pornography industry, Carey said, "I'm especially looking forward to meeting [senior political adviser] Karl Rove. Smart men like him are so sexy. I know that he's against gay marriage, but I think I can convince him that a little girl-on-girl action now and then isn't so bad."

Bush and Carey share many obvious similarities: A commitment to public service, a shrewd business sense, a pair of giant breasts and affection for "Turd Blossom." (For those who actually have lives, that's one of Bush's nicknames for Rove.)

But World Net Daily revealed the most entertaining similarity between the two: A commitment to Christianity.

"I read the Bible and pray every night," she said. "God reads my heart. I'm a good person. … I think I have more morals than the politicians in office."

So can pornography and Christianity co-exist? At first look, it appears they cannot.

But what about erotic material used by couples in the context of marriage? On this issue, one should consult The Marriage Bed (www.themarriagebed.com), a fascinating and entertaining site put together by Paul and Lori, an evangelical Christian couple, to promote "better marital sex lives with information that is scripturally sound and scientifically accurate."

Porn seems to be one of their few genuinely gray areas. In their articles, Paul and Lori make it clear that erotic material can be dangerous, but it's not clearly condemned in the Bible, and the inclusion of The Song of Songs in the Bible muddies the water. Accurately translated, they claim it "would be so sexual you could not broadcast it over the radio."

So here's my plan: The Bush administration should recruit Carey and Fulkis to begin producing taxpayer funded, Christian pornography. It would be categorized as a faith-based initiative included in the administration's plans of promoting marriage. In 2002, Bush said, "Building and preserving families are not always possible — I recognize that — but they should always be our goal."

How do you build families? By having sex! How do you preserve families? By having great sex! The Bible says, "Be fruitful and multiply." Should the government, then, promote doing so? Absolutely!

 Posted by at 5:00 pm