May 082005
Authors: Ryan Skeels

What a relief. Final exams are here, the homework is dwindling and summer is creeping up. Seeing as how I didn't get the chance to watch "House of Wax" or "Kingdom of Heaven" this weekend, I will take this time to enthrall you with the latest scoop on flicks to check out until next semester is upon us.

First, we'll start with the ones you've probably already reserved a seat for. Everyone and their uncle have been gossiping up a storm about the final installment of the questioningly long "Star Wars" saga. "Return of the Sith" jumps to theatres only a week after final exams and the epic film actually looks like it may raise some fists of enjoyment. Honestly, can you really go wrong with a Jedi hunt and a pack of wookies? I know I'm crossing my fingers.

Another big bash this summer is on its way June 29 in the form of "War of the Worlds." With Steven Spielberg behind the wheel, Tom Cruise keeping his head on straight and Dakota Fanning just existing, this 2005 version of the HG Wells' Martian invasion masterpiece should not be anything less than out of this world. Although it seems a little outlandish to even attempt to remake this, but then again, the sinners that be are working on a new version of "Evil Dead."

Speaking of remakes and saga extenders, how does everyone feel about "Batman Begins," because personally, I think it looks sweet. Christian Bale is not only going to be awesome, but may possibly even one-up his dragon slaying days in "Rein of Fire." Not only are we going to get Bale kicking some major tail, but moviemakers are finally going to let us in on who this bat dude is anyway.

Another flick that's sure to draw crowds is "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" with Hollywood heartthrobs, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt exchanging fisticuffs. Now, you've got to watch for yourself, though. Just because the two are romping around town together doesn't mean you have to feel obligated to buy the ticket.

The same goes for "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo," just because he'll hook up with any 10-foot tall woman around town, doesn't mean you have to jump at the chance to watch.

As for the gory goodness pouring onto the big screen this summer, we've got quite the bloodbath in store. George Romero is returning to the genre he created with the fourth leg of his zombie nightmare, "Land of the Dead." For zombie badness, end-of-the- world craziness and social commentary to boot, put yourself in line for this one.

If slasher flicks are more your style, not to worry, the doozie of a lifetime is near. 2003 European released, "High Tension," will finally complete its journey over the Atlantic and plop ferociously on America's lap. If a ticked off, blood-laden girl wielding a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire is a good time for you, make sure your day is free June 3.

Other horror gems to look out for are "The Devil's Rejects," Rob Zombies' new freak show, and "Undead," an Australian zombie flick attempting to put up a fight with Peter Jackson's magnum opus, "Dead Alive."

Whether the preceding gave your senses a reason to party or not, there is still plenty on the way. A few others to put on your list should be the next Burton/Depp redux "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," the questionable historical fiction skate-flick "Lords of Dogtown," and yet another comic-book-to-movie-magic-show "Fantastic Four." Still doesn't brighten your smile? Guess you will just have to keep watching those "OC" reruns and falling asleep on the couch won't you?

Ryan Skeels is a senior forestry major. He is the movie reviewer for the entertainment desk.

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