**To the guy who said Mitch Hedberg was the king of the one-liners, you are sadly mistaken my man. Henny Youngman was the REAL king of the one-liners. "Take my wife…PLEASE!" Genius.
**The U.S. has a long history of military intervention into governments and figureheads we deem oppressive, tyrannical or otherwise adverse to our own objectives. So why haven't any "other responsible countries" helped the American people launch a war on the Bush administration?
**Actually, the revolving doors in the library conserve energy. Maybe you should try it. And to the 20 minute parking wait … quit complaining and find an alternate form of transportation … you're part of the problem.
To all the freshmen out there moving out of the dorms … yes it is exciting to be moving into your own place but please quit asking if the people who live there now can move out early. That is really annoying plus, they might be seniors so while your fun is just beginning theirs might be ending. So STOP IT!
**Has anyone ever wondered why there is a piano in plant sciences building C101, and ever wanted to play it? I have …
**To the guy with the nice motorcycle: the girl on the back was pretty cute. Sorry to break it to you but she is only with you because of the bike. Oh yeah by the way she was totally checking me out in my Subaru station wagon when you were stopped at the light.
**Whenever somebody hands me a flyer in the Plaza I pretty much feel like they're saying, "Here, will you throw this away for me?"
To the two girls in BA205 that wait each day to see where I sit and then come sit two seats down from me, why don't you just introduce yourselves. I mean that is what you are hoping to accomplish right?
**Anybody else notice the re-emergence of those maternity shirts? You know, the ones that are tight around the chest and flare out towards the bottom. Are you ladies trying to hide something?
Does anyone know the name of the guy with all the lawnmowers on Whitcomb? I need a lawnmower. He seems nice.