Apr 192005

**Is anyone else sick of the fact that MTV is ruining an entire generation of kids?

**My neighbor has been keeping a box of things to remind her of her boyfriend. I think it's safe to say they are no longer together because that box was burning as a car ran over it on Prospect. Sadly, the poor teddy bear took the brunt of her anger.

**My roommate Larry went crazy the other day so I hid up inside the storage space above my closet in my dorm room. I'm stuck. All I have is my laptop, a giant box of Ramen noodles, some lingerie and my laundry detergent … Please Help Me.

**I recently spoke to a friend who just served two missions in Iraq. He explained that the Iraqi people that are being trained to take over are more interested in playing a game of soccer instead of military training. Isn't this a good thing?

**When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny" – what's the difference?

I'm glad to see Campus Crusade for Christ giving donations to fraternities instead of, you know, poor people.

The elusive "Hottus Maximus" has come out of hibernation from winter. They can be spotted throughout campus lately wearing short skirts, low-cut shirts and sandals. I will warn you, they become frightened very easily with cheesy pickup lines and blank stares with your jaws dropped. I wish you all good luck attempting to capture these wildcats.

Have you ever looked at a wet paint sign and thought to yourself, "Yeah, but HOW wet?"

Why must they do construction on the detour route?

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

You may want a guy who "isn't too manly to open the door for his lady," but I'd say a guy who DOESN'T open a door for a lady is not only less than a gentleman, but is indeed a rude jerk.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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