Apr 132005

To the defender of the Kerry/Edwards stickers: I find it difficult to be affiliated with any group that can't see both sides of a situation (whether it be conservative-right or liberal-left). We don't need to see "W'04" nor "A Stronger America" at all. The campaign is over and the voters elected the winner. Furthermore, if you live the U.S., who is your president?

Disease: idontknowthefadisover.

Symptoms: Ugg boots, popped collars, trucker hats, J-lo glasses.

To be a CSU football player you need to A) Wear proper football attire with football number present B) Walk across campus as slow as humanly possible with football number present and C) Walk with legs pointed outward as if you just did the deed in your pants, with football number present.

Thank God for iPods, the ultimate Plaza solicitation avoider

Now that CSU has passed the pot referendum, we should call ourselves

CU-Boulder, Northern Campus!

That facebook thing … it should really be called stalker.com.

To the retarded primates that edit the newspaper: If you want to start spouting off opinions about the separation between church and state, I suggest you start with the all mighty dollar, "In God We Trust," instead of trying to find yet another reason to bash the president.

To the guy that wants to know if girls still look for real men: Pink shirts and popped collars are overrated. I want a guy that can wear mismatched socks, start a fire, play football and still look hot, but isn't too manly to open the door for his lady.

To the guy who landed the beer pong ball on three cups: It's known as the infamous "Crazy Carl" and your opponents drink all three cups!

The lady is right. Don't speed up when you get passed, guys. To do so causes you to miss an exquisite example of the physics principle of oscillatory motion and pendulums! Cheers!

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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