Apr 112005
Authors: Tyler Wittman

So, now it's spring, and winter's all but gone in the great state of Colorado. Given, we still have massive snowstorms in March and April, but we did have Spring Break and we're calling it the spring semester, so what the heck?

As everyone knows, with spring comes a variety of sports. Many of them are coming to a close, such as basketball and hockey; many of them are starting up such as baseball and intramural football! I'm sure most of you have played, or will play, some kind of intramural sport at some time in your college career. I'm afraid, though, that only a select few have experienced the glorious battle that is intramural men's football.

Intramural football: where once-storied high school football heroes and zeros alike come together to duke it out because we didn't or couldn't play at the collegiate level. Burnouts reliving the glory days, sort of, by chasing one another in pursuit of those elusive little flags. This is where the men are separated from the boys?

The winners of each little league go on to compete in the playoffs in an attempt to win the campus' most coveted prize of all: intramural champion T-shirts. Never before has a shirt been fussed about and cussed about as much as this shirt. People want this shirt, and I don't blame them. I want one, too.

For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, listen up. Why? Because what I have to say is very important and interesting. Besides, what else have you got to do? Intramural football is more exciting and fast-paced than Olympic curling, cricket and any given celebrity trial. You can quote me on that. At any given game, there are bound to be scores of touchdowns, screaming fans and cocky attitudes. Heck, you can't even have alcohol, so it's not much different from a game at Hughes Stadium.

Intramural sports offer students a great opportunity to get away from the daily grind of school and engage in activities that they would otherwise look silly doing. It's the only time you'll see guys seriously wearing flags and playing football.

Given, it's not intramural sports in the vein of Notre Dame, where they have a residence hall football league that suits up in full pads, but it's still fun. It builds friendships and encourages good sportsmanship.

It's not so much winning that matters if not having fun, right? Wrong. When asked what he thought of Intramural Men's Football, freshman Matt Clair said, "I think IM sports affords the Green Machine with a great opportunity to crush their enemies" without mercy.

Apparently this type of thinking has become quite prevalent in the storied league that plays right here on campus. Go watch any game and you're bound to catch a number of disputed calls by the friendly referees from the captains of their respective teams.

You're also bound to find some testy players because their team is getting steamrolled or some cocky players because their team is steamrolling. If you're really lucky you'll find a UFO, but I wouldn't count on it.

There's no crying in flag football (since there appears to plenty of it these days in baseball, Mr. Bonds and Mr. McGwire). It's a dog-eat-dog world on those fields and everyone wants one of those shirts.

If you haven't played an intramural sport I'd encourage you to do so. They're cheaper than club sports and you don't even have to try out. Just watch out for the Green Machine.


Tyler Wittman is a junior speech communications major. His column runs every Tuesday in the Collegian.

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