Crime and Rewards – Fame through social irresponsibility

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Johnathan Kastner

As an official Media Insider I have terrific news for all of you – the secret to your 15 minutes of fame. If you don't want to be famous, you must not be American, and as an official Media Insider, it would be my duty to hound you into madness. So join me, won't you, and follow the sweet siren song of fame to the rocky shores of celebrity. And if you don't know, "siren song" means "candy rainbow."

The secret to success is based off a new trend in media coverage – celebrity criminals. There's a disturbing number of famous people committing crimes. As a precaution, I would suggest arresting all celebrities more famous than, say, a college newspaper columnist. But that's another article.

Now I know what you're thinking, as I can read minds and use this power exclusively in my articles. "Gee John, I think I see where you're going. Crime will make me famous, just like a celebrity! I'm going to go stick up a bank!" No. Get back here and take off the zebra-striped shirt. You look like a mime.

Here's the hitch. There are two types of celebrity criminals. The first kind you don't qualify for because they were famous in the first place – Martha, the Jacksons and that one Hilton (Drugs. Give it a week)(cut this?kk). The second kind are the ones who weren't famous to begin with, did violent stuff and became famous. This route is bad, as violence is messy, and it's hard to be famous and covered in gunk. Also, I have strong moral objections and stuff.

How then can you climb from the ranks of "anonymous criminal" to "around the clock trial coverage"? Simple! Commit crimes on celebrities. There's a surplus of the buggers, and most of them are, scientifically speaking, jerks who deserve it. (Disclaimer – Crime may have hazardous side effects including nausea, vomiting, upset stomach and imprisonment. Consult a doctor before using Crime).

For proof of the jerkitude of celebrities, compare the cost of what they are wearing as ear decoration to the total income you expect to earn before you die. After you have finished weeping silently, try to think of what type of crime suits you best. Are you an athletic person? You may be in the market for a run-by pie-chucking. Lazy and pasty? Grab a camera and let the stalking begin.

If you're persistent enough and manage to really tick someone off before they get the handcuffs on you, you just might have the recipe for your very own 15 minutes of fame! To prolong this as much as possible, you'll need to make the trial as entertaining as your crime and arrest.

Wardrobe is a tried and true favorite, as pioneered by those masters of the media, the Jacksons. They've taken the straw of both pajamas and "wardrobe malfunctions," and spun it into media gold. You'll need to top that. Try a pajama malfunction.

By now, your 15 minutes of fame should be well and truly earned. As an official Media Insider, I can promise that once you're famous also, I will hound you into madness.

 

Johnathan Kastner is a junior English major. His column runs every Thursday in the Dish.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Men’s lacrosse sticks it to Sonoma State

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Nick Piburn

CSU men's lacrosse, one of the teams most recognized as powerhouse in club sports, continues to impress. Tuesday night the team was pushed to the brink, but in the end the squad showed what type of team it truly is in a 7-6 double overtime CSU win.

In a matchup of two of the best, No. 1-ranked and undefeated CSU was given a wake-up call by No. 3 Sonoma State, who is also undefeated.

"This team's been on an emotional rollercoaster the last week; a lot of guys have been sick" said senior Tim Farquhar. "With everyone struggling to get together we came out flat to start the game."

Sonoma State jumped on the lackadaisical Rams and led 3-1 at halftime.

"We made some adjustments at halftime," said club president Jason Newell. "We moved Tim Chorey up to forward to help give us a spark."

That move by head coach Flip Naumberg turned out to be a turning point in the game as the Rams came out and dominated the third quarter, scoring three unanswered goals, two by Chorey, to take a 4-3 lead.

The game was a seesaw the rest of the way, but the Rams were able to get their sixth goal of the game with a few minutes remaining in regulation. But Sonoma State capitalized on an unforced turnover by the Rams and scored a late goal to send the game into overtime.

"In the first overtime both teams had a lot of chances to score, but no one was able to capitalize," Newell said.

With neither team able to find the net in the first overtime, one player in particular felt like it was the Rams' game to win, and he planned to make sure it ended the right way.

With about 1:30 remaining in the second overtime, Farquhar advanced the ball toward the net on a one-on-one move and netted the game-winning goal for the Rams.

"Being one of the few seniors on the team, I feel like one of the leaders, and I felt like I could take this game over an put it on my shoulders," Farquhar said. "The game was being played at such a high level, I just knew that I could do it. It was definitely a lot of fun scoring that game winner.

"This team has got so much character, more than any team since I've been here. It's all due to Flip Naumberg. He's the leader of all of us, he really is family, for sure," Farquhar said.

After this win, the No.1 Rams have now beaten the No. 2, 3 and 4 ranked teams. The Rams will host the Colorado School of Mines on Friday at 4 p.m., and also the CSU alumni team, Genesis, at 1 p.m. Saturday.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

RamTalk

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Mar 302005
 
Authors:

I am inviting all you ladies to come to a dance this Friday. It is in the Cherokee Park Room of the LSC. I don't want to be the only guy there so I guess you guys can come too.

Let's look at the facts: During my two-year tenure in ASAP concerts, we brought the Pat McGee Band, O.A.R., 311, Gov't Mule, and Hoobastank to campus. Since I left two years ago, we've had one small Black Eyed Pea concert in the ballroom? Sad days….

I think Dale Layer is the one who needs to pack his bags and get out of town before more players end up transferring. Good luck to Stephen Verwers and Phillip Thomasson. Hopefully you kick ass wherever you end up playing.

I hate those people that can never get off their cell phones. They're always yap, yap, yapping away.

To whoever stole my back tire and the part that connects the handlebars to the rest of the bike: WHO DOES THAT? P.S. I saw you and followed you home. I know where you live and I've seen where you sleep, and I swear to everything holy your mother will cry when they see what I've done to you.

Breast implants, $6000.

A tummy tuck, $4000.

A girl that can actually smile and be happy … priceless.

Props to Chris and Nicholette. I could care less about CSU politics, but "Vote for Pedro" cracks me up every time I see it. Unfortunately I still don't care enough to get out there and vote, but if I trip and fall into a ballot box you can be sure your name will fall in.

I just wanted to point out that the people working for SAFER are being paid $420 to run around campus all day trying to get you to sign their petition. If you are for or against the petition, just know they have other motives.

If these Marijuana SAFER people really want to be fair, moral and want to save lives, maybe we should make both of these dangerous drugs as punishable or more than marijuana is now! I think it is just a bunch of potheads trying to justify their actions!

Why do guys name their willies? So that 95 percent of their decisions aren't made by strangers. From two disgusted but not surprised females

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Our View

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Collegian Editorial Staff

Free burritos, a performance by a bilingual Fort Collins elementary school as well as live music today will honor Cesar Chavez.

Chavez was a man who promoted non-violence, volunteerism and public service in his quest to improve labor unions and migrant workers' rights. We can all learn a lesson from his advocacy of respect for all cultures, religions and lifestyles. Chavez is especially important to the Hispanic population of the United States.

Because Colorado is a state with a large Hispanic population, as residents we should all, no matter what race or ethnicity, be acutely aware of the issues that the Hispanic culture faces. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that in 2000, 17.1 percent of Colorado's population was Hispanic, compared to 12.5 percent of the total United States' population.

Chavez worked hard for egalitarianism, but racism and prejudice are still current problems plaguing our society.

The fact that President Bush nominated Alberto Gonzales, a Hispanic man, as attorney general proves that we are making strides toward equality. However, even with increased diversity in our government, as a country, we still need to pass on Chavez's legacy of racial equality to future generations.

Events like Cesar Chavez Day give us all an opportunity to educate ourselves about cultures we may be unfamiliar with. Ignorance breeds intolerance. Through education, we learn to accept the differences of others. Use today's activities to broaden your cultural horizons.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

In-Life Lessons; The True Source of Education

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Kelly Hagenah

My boyfriend does this thing that drives me crazy. (Sorry, but this is not a lead-in to a Cosmopolitan how-to-be-wild-in-the-bedroom-type article.) Whenever we talk and I'm stressing out, annoyed or feeling a little emotional, the advice he almost always extends is, "Kelly, you need to relax."

WHAT!?! RELAX!?! NO! I have this and that to do, and this and that is going on…. And then it hits me – it can be that simple. While I hate to admit that yes, he can be right, it is moments like these that continue to astound me almost every single day. The very basic thought itself is quite compelling – that while the majority of us spend at least 12 years of our lives being schooled for educational purposes – the greatest lessons of all often come from outside of the classroom, but it is these that are the hardest to learn.

Education comes in many forms, and as a college student I find comfort in knowing that after I graduate in May, I will still be challenged everyday to learn new things. It is this type of education, what I call in-life lessons, that have made my college days worthwhile. These are the lessons that can only be taught by experience, friends, strangers, stories, beautiful sunsets, stormy weather, pretty much anything … even the most random and unexpected of events. However, just because these lessons don't include a textbook does not mean that they don't require hard work to understand. In fact, the most complicated part about these lessons is that to be able to learn from them we have to be willing to push ourselves to a new level of understanding.

In school, it is almost easy to learn because there is an underlying how-to-get-things-done structure. When the professor starts talking, you start taking notes. When a word is written on the board, you highlight it because that means it's important. When the exam date approaches, you begin to create a study guide, and read and re-read through it until you've memorized the definitions. But when an important lesson arises outside of the class, in our daily lives, the challenge is that there is no structure to how, when and if we should take it in for us to remember.

This is one of the great challenges in life, and no amount of school can actually tell you how to handle these in-life lessons. This is also what makes these lessons so amazing. There is no structure, no right or wrong, no grade, no one to tell you what to do with the material you have been given. It is up to only us. The other incredible thing is not only how much these lessons build and depend on one another, but also how often they change within themselves and within the way we perceive them, especially after other experiences and lessons. It is, in all actuality, just one big never-ending constant negotiation we deal with everyday. But what makes the difference to each individual is how we decide to take in the lessons, if we decide to accept them at all.

The challenge comes within learning to listen, compromising our opinions, looking beyond the surface, admitting that we were wrong and even discovering that we were right. In-life lessons can feel right for one situation, but not another, and we have to push ourselves to figure out what fits in where. Like when my boyfriend tells me to relax, every other event in my life may be telling me I can't and shouldn't – making it hard to accept what he is saying, but at the same time his point makes just as much sense and could be just as significant to that day in my life as everything else.

These lessons can arise anywhere, from anyone and at anytime. What I make myself remember everyday is to be ready for a new lesson to enter my life at any moment. To look for a lesson to be learned in everything that comes my way, to listen to the advice of others no matter whom they are, to not judge so quickly, to be able to find faults in what I already know, to be willing to accept change. While my time in higher education may be coming to an end, my education of the world is just beginning, and I look forward to this challenge everyday and thank all those people who have taught me so much already.

Kelly Hagenah is a senior speech communications major. Her column runs every Thursday in the Collegian.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

ASCSU campaigns prove their lack of insignificance

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Jesse McLain

Once again, CSU students are being attacked by oversized signs and undersized candy in an attempt to buy their votes for the next Associated Students of CSU presidential election.

It is impossible to be anywhere near the Lory Student Center Plaza without being confronted. It is also equally as impossible to distinguish any difference between this year's two opponents, aside from the colors of their signs of course. I mean, what difference does it really make whose face is on next year's newsletter? Or who gets the prime office and parking spot on campus? Unless they're one of your friends of course, and then it obviously pays to have friends in high places – especially come next football season when rivalry-game tickets are hard to get to get your hands on.

Maybe instead of blasting 50 Cent from their boom boxes and seeing who can bring in the cutest dog, candidates could play a CD actually stating the changes that they'll implement, or they could take their names off their enormous signs and actually list out the differences between them and their competition.

Now I'm not one to complain – and most college students won't at the sight of free food and coupons – but the campaign strategies of these respective candidates seem to simply reinforce the stereotype that ASCSU elections make absolutely no difference to the typical non-political CSU student. For instance: What exactly does a quote from "Napoleon Dynamite" have to do with an ASCSU election?

Now I do realize the candidates provide opportunities for students to get to know more about them through the debate forum, but it seems very optimistic to think the average student is going to take time from his or her already hectic schedule in order to listen to additional empty campaign rhetoric.

I'm not saying that the candidates don't claim to stand for something. Maybe they do what to increase class sizes or attempt to lower tuition – but how exactly are they going to change anything? When was the last time noteworthy changes were made? Once the votes are cast it seems inevitable that the candidates will once again fade into the shadows of their offices and out of the students' minds and concerns.

ASCSU does seem to have at least one redeeming quality. There seems to be nothing better to prepare a student for high political prospects – big signs and empty promises. These candidates seem to be mastering the political strategy of the pros.

But if the candidates actually want to get students interested in voting they better start doing more than wearing their shirts and tossing their Dum-Dums. Hopefully some actual changes will be discussed, but if not, I suggest upping the suckers to king-size candy bars.

Jesse McLain is a junior English major. Her column runs every other Thursday in the Collegian.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Students take a vow of silence for causes

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Hallie Woods

Red T-shirts and silence shattered the daily routine for many people on the CSU campus Wednesday.

It was all for a cause.

Approximately 650 students accepted a vow of silence Wednesday to represent those in the world whose voices often cannot be heard. Those who signed up for the cause wrote down the group or cause they wished to be silent for and received a T-shirt to denote their reason for silence.

Those participating in Silent Solidarity could sacrifice their voice for any group of people who are victims of oppression. Metaphorically, students gave up their voice for those often not heard.

"Basically, the idea is to bring awareness to the fact that there is a lot of oppression out there in the world," said junior business major Daniel Scherzer, a resident assistant who assisted in the Silent Solidarity sign-ups.

Silent Solidarity attempts to bring attention to countless people all over the world who may not have a voice to bring attention to their own oppression. Students could choose any group to represent.

"We have people representing under privileged children, migrant farm workers, the GLBT community, the Lakota Sioux of the Pine Ridge Reservation, women and victims of war," said Becky Palmisano, a member of the Silent Solidarity Committee. "We even have had people represent animals."

Although it is a day of silence, the objective is to ignite dialogue about national and global social issues. The day of silence is a catalyst to provoke dialogue about oppression the other 364 days of the year.

"We want students to re-energize to speak out about oppression for the rest of the year," said Ryan Barone, a graduate student in student affairs in higher education.

Palmisano said it is important to remember that Silent Solidarity encourages all groups to speak out and become engaged in dialogue, but it does not support any particular group. The Silent Solidarity Committee remains unbiased to the groups students wish to represent.

"Silent Solidarity is a neutral organization," Palmisano said.

Silent Solidarity may be a catalyst for active dialogue, but Barone also hopes that it will start an on-campus Silent Solidarity student organization. If such a thing were to occur, the group would hopefully have monthly meetings at which students, faculty and staff could express their views and engage in conversation about social issues.

"We want to see students become civically engaged and have conversations every other day of the year," Barone said.

The day finished with a debriefing at several campus locations. Students broke their silence at 7 p.m. and shared their experiences from the day. Trained facilitators led the dialogue, allowing many students to speak for the first time all day.

"It was nice to know that at the end of the day there would be an end to silence," said Carla Turner, assistant director of Student Leadership and Civic Engagement and a Silent Solidarity participant. "We will have a voice. People will have a voice."

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Cesar Chavez presentation

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Lindsay Reiter

A small group of about 15 students gathered Wednesday afternoon in the El Centro office for their weekly leadership class, Mano a Mano. Students listened to a presentation about Cesar Chavez and how his legacy continues to live on today. About seven junior high students joined the class.

Rich Salas, assistant director of El Centro and instructor of the Mano a Mano class, and Guadalupe Salazar, director of El Centro, recounted personal stories about their experiences as migrant farm workers. Kimi Jackson, staff attorney at student legal services, presented a combination of statistics about the history of migrant farm workers and the hardships they continue to endure today.

Salazar and Salas spoke about the hardships farm workers have to overcome and stressed how important it is that Chavez's legacy lives on today.

"Cesar Chavez was a simple man with only a seventh grade education and look what he did with his life," Salas said. "If he was able to accomplish all that he did and impact so many lives, imagine how educated people like you and me can positively impact and shape the world."

Even though only Latin American students attended yesterday's class, Salas feels the message is important for everyone to hear.

"He was a great champion for farm workers," Salazar said. "I would like students to keep in mind on March 31, which was Cesar Chavez's birthday, that he brought dignity to farm workers. Cesar Chavez was committed to defending dignity to those where dignity had been denied,"

Arika Ayala, a freshman biology major, attends the leadership class every week. The most important information, in her opinion, was advice that classmates gave the visiting junior high students.

"Never be ashamed of your culture," Ayala said. "Migrant workers stick with it because they're trying to support their family. Parents want to give their kids something they couldn't have. Just work as hard as you can."

Salas, Salazar and Jackson have presented this information to 500-600 students in six different classes on campus. They shared Chavez's history and work with students in an effort to educate today's generation.

"It is an interesting story and legacy that he left behind. Somebody has to continue to fight for justice and civil rights. We can't just let it die. We continue to celebrate his birthday in remembrance of him and his work," Salazar said.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Meningitis Update

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Mar 302005
 
Authors:

A CSU student with Meningococcal Meningitis was released from Poudre Valley Hospital Tuesday.

The student, whose name was never released, spent three days in the Intensive Care Unit at PVH. The student initially went to Hartshorn Health Services with flu-like symptoms Friday.

Three other residents of Westfall Hall, where the student lives, were treated for the disease with an antibiotic after having close contact with the student.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

Chill plays cool in second half to advance to championship

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Mar 302005
 
Authors: Adam Ebner

Colorado – 4, Tulsa – 3 OT. Star of the Box: Colorado's Kevin Marsh, game-winning shorthanded goal in overtime.

The Colorado Chill cruised to victory Wednesday night and will play

Friday in a rematch of last year's National Women's Basketball League championship game against the Dallas Fury.

Colorado defeated the Chicago Blaze 83-66 in an all-around unmemorable performance. The teams combined for 55 points in the first half before the Chill came out on fire and scored 53 in the second half to pull away.

Each team began the first half struggling. In the first 18 minutes,

Neither team could overcome nerves and frequent whistles. Then, in a predictable development, former CSU star Becky Hammon took over.

Hammon got her team going with a quick steal with two minutes left in the half. Recovering the ball, she then streaked to the other end of the court, beat Chicago guard Keisha Anderson off the dribble, and delivered a wrap-around pass to teammate Erin Scholz for a layup.

Hammon followed that with a 23-foot 3-pointer from the left wing to end the half, putting the Chill up 30-25.

Colorado (17-8) carried the momentum from there. Led by Hammon's game-high 24 points, the Chill built and maintained a double-digit lead early in the second half. Forward Carrie Bacon and center Ruth Reilly chipped in 15 points apiece.

Chicago could not recover from the second half lead the Chill built.

Playing as if the players had the wind knocked out of them, the Blaze (13-12) ended its season playing flat and suffering terrible shooting woes all night. The team had a harder time since it was playing without all-star forward Tamika Catchings (absent because of other obligations), and fellow all-stars Anderson and Ebony

Hoffman had difficulty getting anything going. Forward LaTonya Johnson led Chicago with 18 points.

The win over Chicago sets up a championship game that has been a competitive rivalry dating back to last year's 78-74 NWBL title thriller. Dallas (17-8), the NWBL reigning champion, comes in with an identical record to Colorado.

The game also sets up an intense matchup between Hammon and Dallas guard Anna Deforge, who were No. 1 and 2 in NWBL scoring, respectively, and both seem to raise their games when playing each other.

Friday's game is scheduled for 7 p.m. tipoff at the Budweiser Events

Center.

Star of the Box: Colorado's Becky Hammon, a game-high 24 points

 Posted by at 6:00 pm