Mar 082005

Has anyone seen the Burger King commercial for the Chicken Cheddar Ranch Commercial with the guy singing dressed like a ghetto fabulous cowboy? Is that Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish? It sure looks like him!

This is in regards to the geeky grammarian's rant on Friday: While I too would appreciate it if our college newspaper knew how to spell, amuck is a variant of amok and Merriam-Webster agrees. Sincerely, one pedantic speller who would appreciate accurate rants.

To the Whole Foods buffet-raider: tread lightly my friend. They're watching you and they'll catch you eventually. They got me … even after I began using disguises. I haven't been back.

You know, if guys would just take a second to talk to their girlfriends and figure out where they stand on basic issues (like kissing other guys at parties), they might be surprised by what they'd find out. These are the girls I'm in competition with, and apparently keep losing out to (and I ask myself "why?") If guys would give the rest of us a second glance, they might actually like what they see.

Three words to all those underage drinkers out there whose fake IDs now adorn the wall of the local liquor store: water, sugar, yeast. Mix it all up to make alcoholic goodness!

Frat guys are students just like you are; we are just a part of something that builds not only character and resumes, but lifelong friendships as well.

Beware the lawn gnome mafia. They're working with the squirrels.

I've been going to CSU for three years now and I have never seen so many hot babes as I do in BN305. There is like 50 in there. MONEY TOWN!!

I totally agree with Wittman regarding everyone seeing "Super Size Me." I disagree with his comment about running to Blockbuster though. Come on, can't people understand that Blockbuster is the McDonald's of movie rentals?

Germans who opposed Nazi rule were labeled unpatriotic by those who didn't love their country enough to keep it from going down the toilet. Who are the real patriots?

Ugg boots. Seriously, what are you girls thinking? Do you realize how pathetically trendy (not to mention ugly) those overpriced fashion disasters are? If you have Ugg boots please do the campus a favor – sell them and buy some common sense!

George W. Bush is like the fat kid in gym class. You don't care whose team you're on as long as it's not his team.

Yesterday, I saw a squirrel tail in the middle of the sidewalk. I wonder where the rest of the squirrel is?

I'm tired of all my female friends talking about how every time they walk by the Info Desk, they hope Joey and Justin are working because they are "so hot."

I just watched a cop bust someone for speeding on campus, but then let a school bus, a minute before go like 42 past it. Unfair.

Hi, I'm a girl, and I don't like to be called woman, girl or female, so umm, I'm going to call RamTalk about it … all right.

I woke up at 4 a.m. this morning with a dislocated kneecap. What in the world was I doing in my sleep?

I miss the camaraderie of a real handshake, boycott the pound!

OK. What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks is up with CU lately? First of all that stripper shenanigans, doh, then the president quits. Don't make Colorado look bad, go CSU!

Can you say, "Throw those Uggs away?" Bottom line, they look like deformed moon boots but to the Janet Reno degree. Napoleon can pull it off, you can't, and how bad they must stink when those suckers are pulled off on a warm spring day, Sicko!

J.J. Redick fan-boy: Don't worry, after your boy choked against UNC on Sunday and read his awful poetry during that "SportsCenter" piece, I'd say you have an excellent shot at bearing J.J.'s children, since no women will be interested. Ever.


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