Mar 062005
Authors: Ryan Skeels

How many diaper jokes does it take to make a good Vin Diesel movie? It must be a whole lot of them because in his latest movie, "The Pacifier," there's a plethora of dirty rags being tossed around, and it wasn't a good movie by any stretch of the word.

Vin plays the role of Shane Wolfe, a disgraced SWAT team member who took a bullet trying to protect scientist Peter Plummer. While Wolf managed to survive the attack, Plummer wasn't so lucky and took all of his secret research to the grave, or did he? Wolf's next assignment is to get to the bottom of Plummer's work and try to survive the biggest mission of his life … babysitting. Man, doesn't that sound lame and overplayed? Yup.

Maybe being 22 and seeing this movie with a couple of friends isn't the best way to approach a good review for a bad "Kindergarten Cop" rip-off. But hey, you can't win 'em all.

There were actually a few parts that were pretty funny and really got the children roaring in their seats. The part where a duck bites old Vinny on the earlobe and the one where he dives into the ball pit for the diaper – "leaving no man behind" – were both good.

There were times, though, when it felt like the script had kind of crossed the line for children. The movie was also unrepresentative of the world's diversity. It seemed like there were only two black people in the movie – one was a kid who Wolfe told to scram and the other had to clean the floor with a toothbrush. Also, did the villains really have to be from North Korea? There are even parts that try to make cracks at the war in Iraq, with one of the children, Set, saying Wolfe was performing "Shock and Awe" on his bedroom door.

Some parts of "The Pacifier" were funny, some parts were clever and some parts were even highly entertaining, but as a whole the movie just bombs. The further and further you get into the plot, the less and less you're going to want to be in your seat. Maybe this is one you're supposed to go to with your children, not with your buddies. Just remember to cover up their eyes at the blatantly prejudiced parts though.

1 out of 4 rams

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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