The best president ever

 Uncategorized
Nov 022004
 
Authors: Powell Fraser

The Daily Princetonian (Princeton U.)

(U-WIRE) PRINCETON, N.J. – George W. Bush is, indisputably, the

best president in the history of the United States.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that he’s the best leader EVER,

trumping everyone from Winston Churchill (a drunk) to King David (a

pretty-boy shepherd according to the prophet Samuel and a girlie

man, according to Gov. Schwarzenegger). His notion of preemption

would’ve worked wonders for Lincoln, Roosevelt and the guy in

Independence Day. The funny thing is, I wasn’t aware that the

president was the paradigm of perfection until the election cycle

hit fever pitch this summer.

As a libertarian conservative, I have always regarded the

Republican Party as the lesser of two evils. Bush’s early promises

of cutting taxes meant cutting government to me. But hidden in this

beautiful promise was a sinister spending plan that would endeavor

to help all sorts of poor people, leaving no child behind and

extending prescription drug coverage. Other less-than-Libertarian

actions included the appointment of the Missionary from Missouri,

the Apostle John Ashcroft, to the post of attorney general after he

lost his Senate reelection campaign to a dead dude. The Right

sought to repeal Roe v. Wade, while I remained in favor of abortion

rights in the hopes that I too might one day get to have foolish

unprotected sex like the rest of the nation. And when the Patriot

Act passed, I became slightly paranoid that my civil liberties

might be in jeopardy if I ever became a terrorist.

Similarly, I became enamored with our current president after

seeing the epic motion picture event of the summer: Michael Moore’s

timeless “Fahrenheit 9/11.” This year’s tidal wave of anti-Bushism

threw me on the defensive as a conservative. Suddenly George W.

wasn’t just my candidate in the election by virtue of being a

Republican. He was a lightning rod for the legions of the Left from

the West Coast to the Northeast. It became my sworn duty to defend

the man against all enemies, French and domestic. My axis of evil

became Whoopi Goldberg, Bruce Springsteen and George Soros.

If each side is going to rabidly exploit any sign of weakness,

then I’m just not going to admit that Bush has any faults. If, in

this space, I accuse the president of being fiscally irresponsible

– conservatives used to be all about less government) then tomorrow

I’ll face a litany of jubilant “So let’s plant Bush back in Texas!”

from my liberal acquaintances and betrayed looks of “Why’d you give

them new ammunition?” from my conservative compatriots.

So for my money, it’s Dubs all the way. Just between you and me,

I have my reservations about some of his policies, but I still

think he’s the best man for the job of beating the crap out of

terrorists. And since my admission of weakness may give strength to

the Kerry machine, let’s keep it a secret. Remember what I said at

the outset: George W. Bush is the best president. Ever.

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