Well kids, classes have been going on for a few weeks now and,
in the spirit of academia, I’d like to administer a pop quiz.
Here’s the question.
Carmelo Anthony and Joe Sakic are both:
A. Lethal assassins working with a terrorist organization known
as the Black Hand.
B. Hotshot cops on the hit show “Crime Scene Detective
C. Elderly comedians currently touring the nursing homes of
D. Athletes on teams whose games will be broadcast less than 35
combined times in Fort Collins this year.
E. None of the above.
OK, time’s up. Now, how many people guessed “E,” none of the
above? Amazing as it sounds, the answer is D. That’s right; the
Avalanche and the Nuggets games will not be seen on the basic cable
package available to everyone in the residence halls and most
people in Fort Collins.
In March of this year, Stan Kroenke, owner of the Avalanche, the
Nuggets and the Mammoth, created a new television network on which
to broadcast his team’s games. Now, Stan the Man is a pretty swell
guy. Remember a few years back, when the Pepsi Can opened up in
Denver? Unlike the other two ownership groups in town, which made
Johnny Taxpayer foot the bill for new stadiums, Stan reached into
his own pockets and built an arena. (In fairness, he does have a
big slice of the Wal-Mart pie, so I don’t think the construction
sent him to the poorhouse, but it’s still a very nice gesture.)
Anyhow, I’d have no problem seeing the Avs and Nuggets go off
FOX Sports Net, their previous home. One of their commentators, a
certain Tim Ring, made a crack about CSU students having an
inferiority complex in regards to CU. So naturally, I, quite proud
to be a CSU Ram, see no problem with taking a lucrative TV contract
away from the boys at FOX.
But there is a slight problem with the whole new network
shindig. It’s not carried by Comcast, which services the residence
halls, most of Colorado and the known universe. Ergo, we shan’t be
seeing the games on Stan’s new network, named Altitude, which,
according to Altitude’s official Web site, will number at least 65
slots for each team. Now, if Altitude was on Comcast, that’d be
just jim-dandy, as that will be the most combined games for our
teams to be broadcast in one season ever. Altitude’s official Web
site, www.altitude.tv, was a regular fount of information, giving
me Comcast’s phone number to request my Altitude.
I called Comcast and asked my customer service representative if
Altitude would ever be available in Fort Collins and if the channel
would be premium. Unfortunately, the answer was that negotiations
are in progress and there was no word on whether or not the channel
would be premium.
I will tell you right now that I want to see my Avs and Nuggets
play this year. (The Mammoth I’m fairly indifferent to, although in
lacrosse you can hit the other team with sticks, so maybe I should
give them another shot).
In any case, I am taking it upon myself as a concerned citizen
to get Altitude in Fort Collins. I urge all of you out there to
call up Comcast and politely request that the Altitude Sports
Network be broadcast in Fort Collins. It wouldn’t hurt to politely
suggest that if Altitude doesn’t come, you’ll just switch to Dish
Network, which, coincidentally, does carry Altitude. (This may be a
hollow threat for those of us in the halls). Nonetheless, if you
want your Avalanche and your Altitude, the number is