Book Review

Apr 072004
Authors: Chris Hess

College is a confusing time for many. Upon leaving the security

of your parents’ house and plopping down in the middle of a campus

the size of a small town, it is easy to feel as though you are lost

in the streets of Tokyo.

The sight of a freshman standing in the middle of the plaza on

the first day of class, tears welling up in their eyes, schedule

gripped tightly in one hand and cell phone in the other with mom on

speed dial is enough to make you want to go up, hug them and give

them something to ease their mind.

Well, now you can. Next fall, when you see that freshman with

teary, puppy-dog eyes, go up and hand them a copy of “The

Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College.”

Here I sit, six weeks from graduation and this book has answered

many of the questions and problems that have been nagging me

throughout my college career. Here are a few things I learned from

a quick read through:

1) I am a hippie, but I have scatterings of an intellect mixed


2) The calories in a six-ounce bag of potato chips are the same

amount of calories as six mugs of beer.

3) Next time I am playing darts at a bar and one gets stuck in

my shoulder, I will know what to do.

4) A dirty pile of laundry can easily be turned into a beanbag


5) I can now open a bottle on a fire hydrant.

6) The easiest way to pull an all-nighter is to study while

standing on your head.

7) Lying down in the back of the lecture hall is the wrong way

to sleep through a class.

8) Napping in the library is easier if you build a


9) Child-size life preservers make excellent toilet seat


10) The summer after my sophomore year I may have mowed lawns,

but my resume will say I “landscaped for private clients.”

“The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College” is a must

read. Do not be afraid to substitute it for class assigned reading;

there has to be something in there on how to get by without it.

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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