Mar 282004
Authors: Gabriel Dance

Emerging from the depths of The Dish, the opinionated

entertainment writer shrugs off his music beat to reveal the vast

emptiness that is the absence of knowledge regarding “ASCS-who?”

Although I usually stick to issues such as Paris Hilton, Howard

Stern and The Sopranos, whereupon I don’t have to deal with people

taking me too seriously, I will now not be taken too seriously on

the editorial page. Check it.

Although claiming ignorance usually discredits an author, I will

pull off an amazing editorial feat and form a bond of trust with my

readers because, like them, I know nothing about the Associated

Students of CSU. And when I say nothing, I really mean nothing

(let’s call it anti-knowledge shall we). So join me, join us, join

almost every person you see today in our wonderful celebration of

not knowing. But now, join me in understanding why it is still

important to exercise your right to vote in the upcoming


I have been studying at CSU for five years now (yes, freshmen,

it is possible to be like me. Just pick a plan and don’t stick to

it) and for four of those five years there was not one thing ASCSU

did that I remember affecting me. Think back for yourselves, when

was the last time you felt the urge to thank your college senator?

In fact, who of you even knows the name or face of your college


Those of you raising your hands are free to go.

But in the past year there has been one development that has

caused me to believe that the overachievers who live wherever it is

ASCSU people live can make an impact on my life. Of course I’m

speaking of the greatest invention since wide-mouth forties –


Being involved in a fraternity, I have been fortunate enough to

go through my college career with a designated-driver program that

operates Wednesday through Saturday. And when I was unlucky enough

to be the responsible person on any given night, I would always

keep a running tally of people I had taken home. At the top of this

list of names the title was always “Lives Saved.” And in a stroke

of pure genius, ASCSU has seen the light and started saving the

lives of those who might have made the wrong decision


So there you go. With a ridiculously low affecting-me-average

(AMA) of .200 during my five years at CSU, ASCSU has finally hit

one out of the park. With RamRide, it did not restore my faith in

our student government, for I had none to begin with, but like the

boss said, you can’t start a fire without a spark.

Although the idea of RamRide began in the mind of my longtime

friend and confidant Joe Marshall (a Collegian columnist and one of

two people I know who knows anything about ASCSU), it was the

current administration that implemented the program. So to them I

say well done. Last year I voted for Jesse Lauchner and Katie

Clausen because I am a responsible, contributing member of society

and they gave out flowers. This year, and for the first time in my

extended tenure here, I have finally been given the opportunity to

vote for a candidate who I feel has earned my respect and good


So rock the vote. Then go out, rock your socks off, and take

RamRide home. Peace, I’m out.

 Posted by at 6:00 pm

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