They are seductive red leather two-inch heeled slip-on open-toed
shoes. They are completely pointless for both wardrobe match and
everyday function. And they fit perfectly!
Last weekend I visited my best friend in Colorado Springs, and
both of us needed new shoes for the coming warmer months. I had
already found the replacements for my old, worn sandals and I was
ready to leave the store with my purchase.
Then I saw them.
Like a moth to a flame I was drawn to their display, touching
the beautiful craftsmanship of a shoe that my friends would swear I
was too sensible to buy. But there I was, walking up and down the
aisle, wondering why I was suddenly caught up in a materialistic
consumerism mentality that urged me to defy my practical
sensibilities and take them with me.
People often do spontaneous and seemingly irrational things when
they are healing from a break-up, and I had just seen my
relationship end weeks shy of our year anniversary. Past break-ups
have seen me either cutting off half my hair or coloring it
coppery-red. But this time, I just bought the shoes.
According to the Web Book, “Lifted Hearts” by Tigress Luv,
relationships can be hard to get over for more than just the
feelings about the other person, but because relationships become
habits, which are hard to break. This could explain why many alter
their appearance or wardrobe in drastic ways. It is a way to
separate yourself from who you were in the relationship and the
My friend in Colorado Springs says she buys music to help her
get over an ended relationship. My sister got a tattoo after her
boyfriend broke up with her a few years ago. You don’t have go as
drastic as getting inked to help put the past behind you, because
there are plenty of other ways suggested for getting over a
A friend of mine in Denver said that she would try to squelch
the pain of a breakup. “I would just go out to clubs and make out
with anybody and everybody. I seemed to think that the physical
contact and sexual involvement would take away the emotional hurt.
It never did, but I had a tendency to try to replace previous
boyfriends quickly” she said.
Of course, there is always the fast and furious “rebound”
relationship. But diving into something when you are not really
ready only means you’re going to mess with the new person’s
emotions, and that’s not healthy for either of you.
Larry LaMotte on WebMD suggests volunteering for a soup kitchen
or hospital because “the giving part of your personality is a great
healer.” He also suggests counseling if the break-up is
MP Dunleavey, who gives advice on relationships for
lifetimetv.com, says to “feel free to indulge in the silly,
happy-making stuff that you would never dream of doing otherwise.”
In other words, if you really like those pointless red shoes, buy
them. She also suggests making plans with your friends and spending
time with anyone else that makes you feel loved and secure.
Others’ suggestions include staying active, pampering yourself
and not keeping your feelings bottled up inside. Perhaps the best
advice I’ve found came from a random message board from a guy named
Jay who had gone through a particularly painful break-up. Summed
up, his advise was that ultimately, you’re not going to abruptly
stop loving that person, so making peace with that and truly
wishing them well is the ultimate way to heal.
And maybe strutting around in your new pair of shoes.
Shannon is a senior majoring in technical journalism. Her column
runs every Tuesday.