It’s All Fun and Games Until Somebody Throws a Knife

It seems that when you go to a show, there’s always the one

person there who could ruin the whole thing for you.

There’s the guy who is way too into the opening act you’ve never

heard of; the guy blocking the view of the stage that you want to

punch in the back of the head; the drunk guy puking on your shoes

and the guy screaming requests at the stage from the nosebleed

seats.

Then there is the guy who throws a knife.

Last summer, the Dave Matthews Band made its annual stop at the

Pepsi Center, putting on one of its better Colorado shows in recent

memory. The set was littered with old-school faves, along with

scatterings of newer material.

Then, at the end of the set, during a wicked-hot rendition of

“All Along the Watchtower,” somebody threw a knife at the stage and

it stuck right in between Matthews and violinist, Boyd Tinsley.

Honestly, who throws a knife?

After finishing the set, the band went off stage for the normal

cheer-for-us-until-we-come-back break. They stayed off stage for

fifteen minutes and when they returned, drummer Carter Beauford was

wearing a hard hat.

Matthews then filled the crowd in on what had happened and

concluded his often incoherent bantering with, “Leave the knives at

home, and just bring the love.”

The crowd roared with approval, the band played two more songs,

I left the Pepsi Center pleased and the knife incident, although

disturbing, slipped comfortably to the back of my mind.

Then, two weeks ago, the band announced its summer tour dates

and Colorado was left out of the schedule.

At first, I was dumbfounded. DMB played their first gig outside

of Virginia in Denver. They’ve played in Colorado every year since

1993. They’ve released two live albums from Colorado shows. They

even played in our very own Moby Gym in 1995. What happened?

Then the image of that knife stuck in the stage rushed to the

front of my mind, at which point I fell out of my chair.

After brushing myself off and sitting back down, I realized you

can’t really blame ’em. Who would want to play somewhere where the

crowd shows its appreciation by hurling sharp, pointy objects at

you?

Now, is the knife incident the for sure reason I will not be

getting my DMB fix this year? No. Could there be a scheduling

conflict? Yes. Do I care? No. I need somebody to blame and the fact

that a Dave Matthews Band spokesperson refused to comment on the

issue only furthers my theory of knife-throwing deterrence.

Well, I have one thing to say to the dill hole that threw the

knife. Way to go, idiot. I award you no points and may God have

mercy on your soul.