Scandal Finally Milked for All it’s Worth

The athletic departments at CSU and CU have now both been

accused of hiring strippers to encourage recruits to join their

sports teams.

The question on everyone’s minds is a rather mundane and

irrelevant one: Did it really happen? Aside from settling legal

disputes, fueling gossip and helping me decide if I should go to

the next recruitment party, it doesn’t change a whole lot either

way.

This controversy, unlike most, raises some important issues –

none of which are being discussed.

People should be talking about why having strippers at a

recruitment party would help to persuade a college guy to join a

sports team. It’s not like they think that they’re going to get lap

dances between plays, right? I don’t understand it.

Actually, I don’t even understand why they like strippers to

begin with. My best guess is that getting lap dances is just

another way for guys with low self-esteem to feel accepted. Just

like how doing drugs because everyone else does them, calling

things gay and having sex with girls they don’t know is a

subconscious and feeble effort to find the approval that they never

got from their moms.

People will do anything for sexual attention, and if they don’t

think there’s any other way to get it, they’ll pay for it.

Saying that CSU is part of a “stripping culture,” as someone

said on the front page a few days ago, doesn’t mean that you can

ignore the ramifications of participating in such activities.

Paying someone to dance on your lap is like paying someone to go to

a movie with you. It’s weird. That sort of affection should be

earned, not bought. Trust me, nothing will boost your ego more than

having a girlfriend who’s not afraid to give you a little Shake ‘N’

Bake.

I wonder how all this nonsense started in the first place. What

kind of a psycho-loser caveman responded to rejection by a

cavewoman with, “we make baby … me give you pretty rock …” And

now, 2 billion (or something) years later, we have the media

getting people all over the world to pay prettier people to take

their clothes off. But I don’t want to demonize the media. They’re

trying to make money, just like everybody else. I blame the

individual consumer, because if people stopped being interested in

watching MTV’s grotesque portrayals of sex, they’d stop showing

them to us.

When I say, “grotesque portrayals of sex,” I’m talking about the

girls hanging off of everybody’s arms with the booty shorts on, not

the gay people kissing. Although I hear that some people have been

taking offense at that. And some other people have been taking

offense at the original people taking offense.

What I am saying is that sex is a huge part of life, and it’s on

the minds of college students just about all the time. It’s

disheartening and depressing to see that it isn’t an act of

pleasure and companionship for everyone, as it is for me.

It’s money.

Max is a freshman majoring in technical journalism. He can be

reached at Max.Karson@ColoState.EDU