Random Ram

Liz Zipse, a senior history major, attempted to go on what would

become a very memorable blind date her sophomore year. She had been

set up with a guy named Drew by mutual friend Karin Parker, a

senior graphic design major.

“She told me she knew this guy that I would like, that she went

to high school with. Anyway, we set the date up over the phone and

he came by my house on a Friday night. I answered the door and I

was excited- he was pretty attractive, but I instantly noticed this

smell like he had passed gas or something and he looked kind of

nervous.

“He asked to use my bathroom and went in and was in there

forever. I’m talking like 20 minutes and I heard water being

slopped around and I kept hearing him cussing,” said Zipse, who

waited in the living room for another 20 minutes before yelling

through the door to ask if he was okay.

“So I yelled to him and there was no answer and I could hear

water still running and it started to leak out from under the

door,” she said.

After knocking repeatedly and trying to talk to Drew through the

door she tried to open the door but it was locked. Zipse then used

a bobby-pin to open the bathroom door to find that Drew was no

longer in the bathroom. The toilet was overflowing and a pair of

soggy boxers floated among the soaked magazines on the bathroom

floor. She also noted that her bathroom window was open and the

screen was removed.

“I couldn’t believe it. He flooded my bathroom and left through

my bathroom window without saying anything. I looked out front, his

car was gone.”

Zipse then contacted their mutual friend who had arranged the

date. Parker relayed that Drew had eaten some bad Chinese food

earlier that day and had thought he merely had gas. When Drew had

gotten to Zipse’s door, he had apparently tried to pass it along

which resulted in him defecating in his pants. Once inside, he used

Zipse’s bathroom to try to rinse his boxers out. He soon abandoned

all attempts and tried to flush the boxers down the toilet when it

overflowed. He then fled through her bathroom window. “I really

couldn’t believe it. When Karin told me I felt really bad for him.

We met some months later at a party at Karin’s. We ended up dating

for a few months.”

Zipse still has Drew’s boxers.