Wake up. Immediately thank anybody even remotely responsible for
sending you to CSU. Laugh at CU. Repeat. Go back to bed – you need
your sleep to be at your best for the game.
Wake up – again. Laugh at CU. Give 8-by-11 headshot of Fum
McGraw that sits on your night stand a thumbs up. Shake Sonny
Lubick bobble-head. Put on at least one piece of CSU Ram
Write Bradlee Van Pelt inspirational game day letter.
Put inspirational letter with rest of letters proving you’re
High five life-size cutout of John Elway; although he went to
Stanford, he’s a Ram fan through-and-through. Marvel at the amount
of hyphens I used in that sentence.
Get together with best buddy and pretend to be Dan Patrick doing
a SportsCenter segment on the unbelievable CSU Rams. Then go to
buddy for more in-depth game analysis. He pretends to be Linda Cohn
because “she’s an awesome anchor, man!” but you still think that’s
a little weird.
Pre-game jitters start rumbling in your belly. Squash ’em with a
40 oz. (I prefer my 40s to be either strawberry or cherry Kool-Aid,
but I’ve heard some people drink Colt 45 flavor.)
Practice mean game day face in mirror. If you don’t have a good
mean face stay home and watch game on TV. Think that’s unfair? I’m
sorry, do we look like sissy Buffalo fans?
Tailgate time! You must make it to the field three hours before
game time to tailgate. Not sure what this means? If you like one or
more of the following you should check it out: chicks, dudes, food,
drink, music, Ram football, other*.
* By “other” I mean if you’re not tailgating you’re missing half
the game and that would be lame. Nobody likes lame, remember?
Final pregame ritual – paint CSU on chest. Make sure you cover
your nipples though. It gets cold out there!