Real men play beer-pong

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Sep 032003
 
Authors: Luke Cornish

There’s more to life than football. Like, what you do to prepare for a football game or to celebrate after the Rams beat the Golden Bears this Saturday in overtime.

That’s right, I’m talking about beer-pong. This could quite possibly be the most underrated sport on college campuses. If we were to make it a varsity sport, I would probably be captain.

There are many different ways of playing the game and most people play differently to myself. To those people I say, you’re wrong. There is only one way to play beer-pong and that is my way.

Because there are many different (and wrong) ways to play the game, I’m going to put the record straight and lay out the rules of the official Cornish Beer-Pong Championships.

The game is played on a rectangular table. The actual dimensions don’t matter so much but as close to a real ping-pong table as you can get will work.

The cups

The cups are set up in a triangle at the end of each table with the point facing your opponents. There are 10 cups and they are set up like pins in a bowling alley. Each cup is half filled with beer.

There are also two cups at either end filled with water for washing off the balls before the next play.

Game play

For the Cornish Championships teams will consist of two players and two teams per game. The aim of the game is to get your balls in the other team’s beer. You do this by each tossing one ball at the cups situated on the opposite side of the table.

If you make a shot the other teams players alternate turns chugging, and finishing, the beer (that’s one cup each- the players don’t share a cup). The empty cup is then removed from the playing field and the remainder cups are organized into as much of a triangle as is possible.

If both players make their shots, their turn is not over. Their opponents return the balls and they get to repeat until they miss at least one shot.

After a shot is made it is imperative for the opposing team to pick up the cup and finish the beer as soon as possible because if two balls make it in one cup then the game is over. It is then up to the losing team to drink the rest of the beer on the table.

The balls can either sail through the air or bounce into the cup. A bounced ball counts double but can be swatted away. The game ends when one team has no more cups at their end of the table and they are required to finish the beers at their opponents end.

Fouls

There are several ways to commit fouls during the course of the game. If a ball is swatted away without touching anything, it’s a foul. The penalty: one beer.

If a cup is knocked over, it’s a foul. This foul does not come with a penalty other than being taunted by your opponents.

If you sleep with your friend’s girlfriend while under the influence of the alcohol you consumed as a part of the game, that’s a foul. This particular foul doesn’t come with a specific penalty but your friend can petition to get you out of the league.

The Tournament

The tournament will consist of sixteen teams in a bracket. The competition begins on Saturday before the CSU game and will continue until a winning team is found.

Unfortunately, all the spots for teams are filled but keep a look out for the annual Cornish Beer-Pong Championships on ESPN next year.

Note: The Collegian does not endorse either drinking and driving or binge drinking.

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