As president-elect of the Non-Traditional Student’s Club, haunt of many quirky old people, I must respond to Mr. Saunder’s “What I have learned in college” column. Ferris Bueller was right when he said life would move fast, but I can assure you that if you only stop to look you will miss it.
You see the thing about quirky old people is there is a reason for our quirkiness and the sooner you figure this out, the smoother life will go for you. Quirky is defined as an unpredictable or unaccountable act or event, a sudden sharp turn or twist, or equivocation. The quirky old people I know, myself included, by definition deserve the quirky distinction – thank you. You see life will throw you in the mud pits, as it has many of my friends, and the only determinant of your success there will be your attitude. Speaking from experience, the best way to deal with the quirks of life is to develop a quirky attitude.
So Mr. Saunders, and all the other mass-media, mass-produced, mass-thinking, and mass-dressing suburbanites out there who find the quirky old people to be an amusement, may you find your quirky spirit. It is an unequivocal guarantee that life will be equivocal. And just in case you don’t get it … find out what soylent green is made out of, because you are headed that way.
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