Korea’s bouffant Dr. Evil

Mar 052003
Authors: Becky Waddingham

Since August 2002, these pages have contained both the educated and sometimes slipshod rantings of pro-war and anti-war college-age people in Fort Collins and around the world.

They’re almost always talking about Iraq, myself included.

We can carp on about Iraq as long as we want, because at this point, we might not be invading that country. But we, and the rest of the United States, need to start focusing some attention elsewhere: North Korea.

Can we fight a two-front war, one that would be akin to the conflict that ended in 1945? Maybe, but probably not, and especially not if said new war involves some very special weapons that were brand-new back then.

The Bush administration has been ignoring some key facts about Iraq and North Korea recently. One fact is that Iraq has not attacked anyone in 11 years, and there is no real justification for invading that country unless we are provoked, which we haven’t been. Unsubstantiated claims of Saddam/al-Qaida ties do not count.

Another fact is that many Americans have yet to see any satisfactory proof that invasion is necessary. A recent Gallup/USA Today poll found that only 33 percent of Americans would support invading Iraq if it agreed to disarm its al-Samoud 2 missiles, which it has begun to do.

Another oft-ignored fact is that North Korea is known-known, not suspected, like Iraq-to be pursuing a nuclear program that will likely lead to nuclear bombs. North Korea’s leader, Kim Jong Il, said himself Monday that a U.S. attack on his nuke program would probably lead to nuclear war.

One more fact: North Korea has missiles that could reach the West Coast of the continental U.S.

What will it take for those in Washington to realize that this might be a serious problem that needs serious United Nations attention and diplomatic action? Will it take one of our spy planes being intercepted? Wait, that already happened.

Will it require North Korea to destroy one of our warships stationed near Guam and within range of Pyongyang?

Colin Powell, the only man in the current White House I still trust, is even ignoring North Korea. Instead of orating about the ills of Iraq and its harrumphing of the U.N., Powell should be lecturing the world community about the Il of Korea and his frightening war talk.

Kim Jong Il is a much scarier wacko than the decades-long leader of Iraq.

In addition to wearing a bouffant hairdo similar to Marge Simpson’s, the man wears platform shoes to make himself look taller. I haven’t heard mention of anything so ridiculous since George Costanza tried it on “Seinfeld.”

He’s also a movie buff.

In 1978, according to Slate magazine, Kim authorized the separate kidnappings of a South Korean movie director and his wife. After keeping them apart for five years, Kim reunited them and said he wanted to turn North Korea into an East Asian Hollywood with their help.

The three actually made six movies together, including one that won best director at a Czechoslovakian film festival.

Had he not been destined to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a totalitarian dictator, Kim might have been right up there with Steven Spielberg.

He is probably certifiably insane and a leader we should legitimately fear, and not just during Oscar season.

The Bush administration, Congress and the United Nations should shut up about Resolution 1441 and make a brand new one for North Korea. The implications of that country having a nuclear program are far weightier than the possibility of Iraq having a few vials of anthrax.

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