Feb 172003
Authors: Shannon Baldwin

Shhhh. Can you hear that? You know…that voice that hums the Star Spangled Banner and tells you that dissent is treason. The voice that whispers that to be patriotic is to support our God-ordained democracy without question. That to protest is to disrespect all those fallen to protect your liberty. That we love freedom and our enemies hate freedom, and that’s why they hate us.

That voice was a thunder clap after Sept. 11. We heard it loud and clear then. And we bought our little American flags (made in China) and put them on the antennae of our cars, because we are Americans. We felt like Mr. President was really stepping up to the plate and we’d lick anyone who so much as looked cross-eyed at the need for a Department of Homeland Security.

I mean, sometimes you have to give up a few liberties for the greater good. And you’re an American, so you can make that sacrifice.

Most of those little plastic flags are gone, but that voice is still there. Sure, this weekend showed there are some peace-loving-tree-hugging-bleeding-heart-hippies who have forgotten that there’s a war on terror going on, but whose listening to them?

Don’t they know that war with Iraq will open the way to peace in a tumultuous Middle East; jump start the global economy with cheaper oil (see it’s not just for us, we’re doing it for everyone); and strike a blow against terrorism?

Okay, so the protests were worldwide this weekend, but who cares? We’re Americans, and we don’t need the support of a bunch of nations that let Hitler go unchallenged for so long, right? Screw them, we can do it ourselves! We’re Americans, and we’ve got the bombs to back that up.

What was it that Saddam’s eldest son said about our probable invasion? That Sept. 11 will seem like a picnic compared to what would come. Who is he kidding? We beat them once, we can do it again, and this time we are taking Saddam out!

And if we remove a big terrorist support, then there will be no more problems, right? After a few short months of pretty lights in CNN broadcast skies, it will all be over. Our GI’s will pass out candy to the celebrating Iraqi in Baghdad’s barely scathed streets, and then come home to a country whose freedom is once again secured -just in time for elections.

And everywhere in the world, things can go back to American approved normalcy. (Oh, well except for North Korea, but we’ll deal with them soon enough).

The world can go back to life, knowing that America is watching over them, like a protective big brother who makes sure the playground stays safe from the school bully.

They can go back to working in the American international corporations, and catering their urban cultures to the tastes of those corporations. Maybe at the expense of their own cultural identity, but if aspects of their civilization must die to make way for our imprint, then so be it. Survival of the fittest way of life, right? And they should be glad we provide them with jobs, so that they can continue buying American exports and consuming our top-grade TV shows like Jerry Springer. And who can complain when we give them the exquisite cuisine of McDonald’s?

They can continue farming the cash crops that are the guilty pleasure of the West, while importing our food just to sustain their population. But they should be thankful they have something to trade, something to get them into the international marketplace. And just because we didn’t approve the Kyoto Protocol because it would hurt our economy, doesn’t mean that they have any right to back down. Being American makes us exempt from saving the Earth, and that’s what makes it so great living in this free country.

What does ‘terrorists are not born; they’re made’ mean, anyway? Probably just hippie-protestor propaganda. With all that we offer the world, how can there possibly be this despondency that feeds terrorism? It must be hidden somewhere in Iraq. That’s why we’re going to invade. That’s life. If you don’t play by our rules, we’ll sic the Marines on you. Don’t like it? Then kiss our red, white, and blue derrieres.

Because we’re Americans, and whose going to stop us?

 Posted by at 5:00 pm

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