Greetings, and welcome back my loyal readers, fans and appalled southerners, to another edition of bizarre sex acts with Ryan.
This week I introduce to you to an acquaintance of mine, whom I will refer to as Mr. X from here on in.
Mr. X has been happily married to his wife, Mrs. X, for several years now.
Unlike most males his age, Mr. X is a bit different in that he enjoys the pleasures of the “backyard” (otherwise known as anilingus or rimming).
Dude! That’s gay, isn’t it?
Actually, no. Mr. X is a “0” on the Kinsey scale (0 – Exclusively heterosexual, no homosexual tendencies).
So if you’re anything like me, you’re probably as confused as I was at first.
Myths of masculinity
With the exception of Mr. X, most men believe that rimming (or anything involving “backyard” pleasures) equates to homosexuality.
This just isn’t true. Although anal stimulation carries with it extreme sexual taboo, it is a common practice among one third of American adults – straight, bisexual and gay, men and women.
Although much smaller numbers engage in anal intercourse, gentle stimulation from fingers, the tongue or toys can be highly pleasurable for many because of richness of nerve endings in the area.
Communication – a lost skill?
As with any new intimate activity, communicating feelings about comfort levels is crucial. Never just “test the waters” during intimate encounters without first developing consensus with your partner.
While intimacy between two people who love and care about each other should be without shame, many are very uncomfortable about being touched there without their prior consent.
As was the case with Mr. X, many men are initially afraid to communicate their feelings about that region of the body.
However, because Mrs. X was able to express her interest in experimenting with anal intercourse, it became more comfortable for Mr. X to begin talking about his desires as well.
The moral of the story: communicating sexual feelings with your partner could reveal shared interests.
A little soapy foreplay…
As with any encounter, ensuring that your body is cleanly is a natural aphrodisiac for your partner. Being comfortable with your partner’s body – as well as your own – helps ease the awkwardness of any new act of intimacy.
Showering or bathing together can be erotic, while at the same time reassuring to your partner that the “backyard” is adequately clean.
A scented body wash – in conjunction with a soft loofah – can be aromatic and arousing way to add a little foreplay, and ensure hygiene to your encounter.
Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto
Engaging in any new sexual activity should be at a slow, comfortable pace. If you and your partner find you are comfortable with each other’s bodys and feel ready to experiment with anal stimulation, begin with gentle touching. Using a small amount of personal lubricant will add to the sensation.
Once you both feel comfortable with gentle touching in the area, you may want to consider new methods such as a small, slender vibrator.
Slowly acclimate your partner to the sensations of the vibrator by stimulating areas such as the calves, inner thighs and genitals, gradually working your way to the vicinity of the “backyard.”
Keeping the intensity of the vibrator to a minimal amount, slowly begin to stimulate your partner, and never insert the vibrator internally without talking to your partner about it first.
Many men may find that a vibrator is too intense for them – so if you or your partner become uncomfortable at any time, stop and find other, more familiar ways to be intimate with one and other.
Once you both feel comfortable with manual or vibrator stimulation, you may want to consider “rimming” (clinically known as anilingus).
When in a “69” position, many find it extremely arousing to rim their partner while receiving fellatio or cunnilingus. Again, just be respectful of your partner’s comfort boundaries.
My closing note:
Over the course of the past few weeks, I’ve received a lot of praise, and some concern for the content of my columns.
The nature of the column deals with issues of sexuality, plain and simple.
The subjects will be highly controversial at times. So the bottom line here – if you are offended by sexual content, the headline to my columns are indicative of the content. Don’t read it if you don’t approve.
Ryan Owens is a junior technical communication major and welcomes your questions, comments, polaroids and hate mail to: