After a weekend like this, column ideas hit you like spitballs on the blackboard. I could have focused on one particular idea, but where’s the fun in that?
Instead, here’s a running account, filled with thoughts, both sports-related and not. Hopefully you can relate. After all, we’re all the same, you know. Or something like that.
7 p.m.: Margaritas, quesadillas and “Friends.”
Priceless, though the margs and actual friends detract from focusing on the show. Here’s a thought: What ever happened to sitcom catchphrases like, “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” and “Dy-no-MITE!?” Even little Michelle Tanner had “You got it, dude.” Today, Joey Tribbiani stands alone: “How YOU doin?”
1 a.m.: Billiards ’til dawn!
Why isn’t pool an Olympic sport? Curling and ballroom dancing; yes. Billiards? No dice. Better yet, how about a movie featuring drunken buddies bonding over billiards? Sort of like “BASEketball” meets “Steel Magnolias.” This could work.
Friday classes and the random thoughts that permeate:
– There’s a flag in every classroom, but not a single clock on campus. Do they want us existing in some sort of timeless, patriotic vortex?
– Remember when the big problem in the world was the Ozone layer? Doesn’t that make you feel old?
– When you get right down to it, we really didn’t have it much better than coming home after school to watch back-to-back Full House episodes and eat pudding cups.
– Half the 25,000 or so people on this campus could not survive without their cell phones.
– Remember in “Top Gun” when Ice or Maverick would switch to guns? Wasn’t that basically like giving up? Did guns ever do anything? Most worthless weapon in movie history.
Friday night, “The Games”:
The story of the football game: lack of special teams. I know they were without their regular long-snapper and the Bulldogs were keying viciously on Dexter Wynn, but as a whole, special teams have been performing about as well as Marky Mark during the last 20 minutes of “Boogie Nights.”
The story of the volleyball game: Hyde overcoming Jekyll. Game two vs. San Diego State was a nightmare. Down 0-2, somehow, they came back, slowly and steadily, riding the worn-out arm of Tess Rogers (63 swings!) to victory in five thrilling games. I was a little hoarse after that one, but nursed my throat back to good with $1 brews at Del Sol.
A day of recovery from $1 brews.
Line of the weekend: My roommate, while browsing through my MP3’s on my computer, dropped this beauty: “You don’t have ANY Amy Grant?” I don’t even have a joke here.
I’m not sure there’s ever been a better day of all-around television programming. Simultaneously broadcast are: CU/K-State, Washington State/USC,
Northwestern/Ohio State, Georgia/Alabama, Yankees/Angels, Giants/Braves, SNL and Road Rules marathons, “Cruel Intentions,” “Executive Decision” and some sort of tennis match from Moscow.
Needless to say, my couch has molded to my body. Haven’t seen a lineup like that since I judged a diorama contest in 7th grade.
I managed to make it out of my molds to announce the volleyball game Saturday night. Another 3-0 Ram victory. Yahtzee. Both the Yankees and D-Backs lose. Pure bliss, baby.
On to the Broncos game: parking pass, pre-game party with free food and booze, seats in the suite with more free food and booze, back to home in Golden for a post-game hot tub . . . with booze. Like Jay-Z says, it’s a hard knock life.
So there you have it. Little bit of sports, way too much booze and a whole lotta nothin’. And when you think about it, isn’t that life?