When I began to brainstorm about what I was going to write on for this week, I feared I might not be able to come up with something very creative.
I knew I had to write some sort of farewell to assure some closure for myself as well as for each of you, my devoted readers. I also knew however, that I wouldn’t have enough space here to say everything I wanted to say. So I attempted to contact the RamFYI service to see if I could get my manifesto e-mailed to each of you.
RamFYI is the ever-so-efficient daily mailing sent to each active student e-mail address on file with the university. Some of you may be unfamiliar with it, as it quite frequently sneaks into new mail listings hidden among the “enlarge your penis in 5 seconds,” “grow a third breast in 2 days,” and “earn 5K/hr while working at home” barrage of instantly deleted messages.
RamFYI is delivered in an attempt by the university to “facilitate university business and to help build a sense of community.” As far as I can tell from the informal surveys I’ve conducted, the only community RamFYI has helped to establish is one in which the unifying sentiment is of malevolence for this system.
Though the university maintains its position that “this service is intended to ensure that students do not receive messages about subjects of no interest to them,” I have yet to receive a message from this service that was of even remote interest to me. What I do find to be of interest though is that “there is no provision to ‘opt out’.”
With all of this in mind I thought to myself, “I know my manifesto would qualify for RamFYI because it’s interesting and contains a great deal of need to know information for all of the students on this campus. And so, I submitted my manifesto to RamFYI accompanied by a request that it be posted in the following day’s mailing. What I received in return was this message:
“Your message to email@example.com was not read. This is an automated reply. You will receive no other response to your message. If you have questions or need help with the University’s student email system, see “About RamFYI” at:
And so it goes that you will not be provided the opportunity to read all about the revolution I envision so that you may instead be informed about such pressing issues as the Golf Scramble being planned for May 5. You will not learn of my plan to end world hunger or my scheme to stop the growing gap between the wealthy and the poor.
You won’t know how I plan to make quality education available for all who desire it and you’ll be unaware of the blueprint I will use to rid this world of hatred. I wish you luck however, if you do happen to make your way out to the golf tournament at Collindale Golf Course this weekend.
I sincerely thank you for allowing me into your thoughts each week.
Good luck to each and every one of you in future endeavors. May you experience the fulfillment of success but never at the expense of the humility of failure.
Veronica Garcia is a senior majoring in sociology.