Sportsed-out

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Feb 032002
 
Authors:

I don’t know about you, but I’m a little sportsed-out. Every week it’s basketball this and football that. “Hey Reed, we need a feature on the basketball coach by Tuesday!” Grand. And now with all this Super Bowl jazz- well, I just don’t think I can take any more. Not without a break, that is. Thus, I offer you sweet release in the world of random thoughts on everything from Britney Spears to Ag majors. In the words of Ross Perot, “Eeenjoy!”

/_/ No niche of popular culture had greater mullets than early 90s’ WWF wrestling.

/_/ I really didn’t think I was that old until I saw MacGyver doing phone card ads. Wow.

/_/ To whom it may concern: I will never have a moment for Green Peace. Nothing personal, just the way it is.

/_/ The more I see those previews for “A Walk to Remember,” the more I realize Shane West is the poor man’s Pacey Witter.

/_/ Why do narrators of late-night commercials for hip hop compilation CDs always feel the need to shout? Will this make me buy more discs?

/_/ You know it’s 2:25 a.m. when Molly Shannon starts to look tempting.

/_/ Is it a rule that all Ag majors have to wear pullover windbreakers, tight jeans and hiking boots?

/_/ Listen to the start of the Doobie Brothers’ “It Keeps You Running” and tell me that it’s not sampled from a Nintendo game.

/_/ I’ve become immune to Britney Spears. She’s hot, I’ll never have her. I get it.

/_/ All I’ll say is, it’s a good thing job interviews don’t contain the question: “Have you ever taken a Seventeen magazine quiz?”

/_/ The undisputed highlight of the CSU basketball season thus far: the pep band busting out Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out” before a women’s game.

/_/ How come in “Titanic,” the girl says “I’ll never let go, Jack,” and then drops the guy? Always kills me.

/_/ Katie Holmes, Eliza Dushku, Jamie Presley… discuss.

/_/ Frankie Muniz stars in “Big Fat Liar.” I liked this movie the first time I saw it… when it was called “Home Alone.”

/_/ Have they started a support group for parents of daughters seen on the “Girls Gone Wild” DVD?

/_/ THE most underrated love song of all time is “The Pina Colada Song.” I will not argue about this.

/_/A/Do you think listing “Swedish Bikini Team member” on a resume is a good thing?

/_/ I’m convinced that, were it not for divine forgiveness, Macy Gray’s voice would only be audible to dogs.

/_/ All right, I’ll admit it. I am, at the same time, scared of and turned on by Jennifer Capriatti.

/_/ The fact the Mountain West Conference is not among the top ten (repeat top TEN) conferences in men’s basketball is sad in that “Cuba Gooding Jr. starring in ‘Snow Dogs'” kind of way.

/_/ Being two and a half months from turning 21 is a lot like arriving at the airport to find your flight’s been delayed three hours – being so close only makes it more stressful.

/_/ Note to Aaron Lewis and Staind: We get it. It’s been awhile. You’re on the outside. Now go away.

/_/ Ever have a class with a girl who’s so mind-numbingly gorgeous you can hardly look at her? Um… yeah, me neither.

Reed is a junior journalism major.

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